Things we lost | c.g fanfic [heavily editing bc I suck]

Chapter 12

CARLS POV

They came back without her.
Without her.
I'm so angry. They told me they think it could've been the Governor. Which just enraged me even more. She could be dead. Zoe, my Zoe. And if it wasn't the Governor, she was attacked by walkers. They heard her scream.
Daryl went back out to look for her. I don't know who went with him, but he wouldn't let me go since I was in such a state. I put up a fight. It only made things worse. I always make things worse.

A knock on my cell door snaps me out of my thoughts but I don't look up form the position I'm in on the floor. Hugging my knees to my chest, crying.
"Son?" The voice of my dad asks.
"No." I state, sighing. My face drops into my hands. "Just go away. Just...go away."
"She'll be okay." He tells me, walking into the room.
"But you don't know that!" I shout, turning to face him. "That's what you all said about mom, and she's dead!" He pauses, trying to collect himself. I know I shouldn't of said that.
"That was an entirely different situation." He states, still sounding hurt. It's been a while but we know not to mention mom. All of us.
"And it'll still end up the same way."

He sits beside me and my mind goes into overdrive, I can't think straight. I'm just a teenager, living in a messed up world. People die everyday, just to re-animate and kill other people. I've shot things, I've shot my mom. I've killed innocent people. Zoe's brother. There's other peoples blood on my hands.
I have nothing. Except her. Yet she never even felt the same way. Why would she? After all, I murdered her brother.
And then I fucking fell in love with her.
I'm pathetic, I really am.
"Dad," I choke out. He puts his arms around my shoulders and I lean into his chest and cry. "What if she doesn't come back?"
"She will. Carl, I promise you." He pulls me away, placing his hands on my shoulders. "I promise you."