Things we lost | c.g fanfic [heavily editing bc I suck]

Chapter 22

I watch, gut wrenching as Caden falls to the floor. His body writhes and the young girl next to him screams, ducking to his side. Trying to stop him seizing as her fingers press on the wound. I grip Carl's forearm as tears roll down my face, I stand and shake myself off. I'm being stupid. He killed people. Killed them without mercy. I only did what I did because he deserved it!
But then again... Am I any better?
I can tell myself that he deserved it as many times as I want, I still have his blood on my hands.
"Zoe, he deserv-" Carl starts. Only to be cut off.

"Son of a bitch," Daryl yells, jumping to his feet. "Smartass walker bombed us!"
We stare in horror as the fences come down and the walkers pour in like a water fountain. My finger finds the cold trigger again to find my guns empty.
"I'm out!" I yell over the sudden uproar fumbling to shove the weapon back into my holster. "Carl, your knife!" He nods, passing it to me in a quick exchange.
"We gotta move, now!" He screams over the gunshots, fire and moans. "Follow me," Daryl barks, half crawling half walking. We move in a slow, robotic way until we reach a sort of clearing.
"Stay down." Daryl hisses quietly. "Ya'll don't need a gunshot wound." Finally, we take cover behind half a brick wall.
"What now?" Carl asks. Screams are heard throughout the entire field but one screaming blonde haired girl catches Daryl's attention.
"I gotta go help Beth nd' Maggie!" He says quickly. "Don't move. Stay here." He hugs me quickly and runs to join them.

"Keep pushing forward!" I demand, going completely against what the brown haired man with the crossbow told us. Carl agrees and we push on, through walkers, which are taken down in seconds, and through humans who try and put up a fight.

We almost reach the bus, where everyone under eighteen were told to go if things got bad; until Carl freezes. A look of horror spreads across his face and he looks as if he could throw up.
"Judith!" He yells and begins to run in the opposite direction. I yell his name, following close behind as my heart threatens to pound out of my chest. Confused and terrified.
"Oh god," I whisper, clamping my hand over my mouth. Carl screams and the suddenly all too vulnerable boy collapses to the floor in front of the now bloody car seat of his baby sister. Sobbing, doubled over and clutching at the bloody pink fabric as if he did it hard enough the infant would reappear, I watch in horror. The body of a walker lies next to the car seat, covered in new blood and a bullet in its rotting skull. Carl grabs his shot gun and shoots the shells into the corpses's head, screaming unintelligible things. Slowly, I fall the ground next to him, grabbing the gun and pulling his head into the crook of my neck where he stays; clutching his thighs as he does.

The sound of footsteps invade my years and everything feels suddenly too loud. I can't even comprehend what I've just seen, so I don't want to feel what Carl is."Carl, Zoe." A bloody, beaten Rick breaths out as he limps towards us. I shake my head and Rick looks down at us. he sobs suddenly as Carl does as he sees the chair.
"She was with Tyreese!" I shout over gunshots and through my tears.
"We-we have to go." Ricks sobs, nodding his head as if he's trying to tell himself we do. I nod, staring at the seat as I pull Carl up. Putting his fathers arms around our shoulders, we just walk. Pushing away walkers as we do, in a trance of sorts. We walk until we're out of the prison. Rick speaks quietly, slurring as he does: "Don't look back. Just...don't look back."
But I do.
And I see the burning remains of my home and my family.
Gone.