The Way You Make Me Feel - A Michael Jackson Love Story

Chapter 146 - When galaxies collide

Warning: This chapter contains sexual content, and is only suitable for a mature audience.

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Michael's POV

Loneliness is a strange thing. Too often, we feel alone in this world, yet we're constantly surrounded by people. We could stop being lonely so easily, if we'd just reach out to anyone nearby; yet we hold on to loneliness so tightly as if we don't want it to be taken away. And I'm not sure why that is, but maybe it's because being lonely is easier and less painful than trusting someone to not leave us back at square one.  

But then that all changed when I fell in love. My lonely days were gone.

I swallow hard as I run a hand through her hair watching her sleep. Eyelids closed against the dim light of dawn and her breathing deep and relaxed, all the muscles in her face and body were totally at peace. The innocence showed on the sleeping face, the peaceful and serene dreams blocking out the dangers of the outside. The soft breathing making the world seem to stand still.  

She gives a soft sigh in her sleep as I feel a lump form in my throat, my face growing warm with guilt and frustration. I didn't mean to take out my frustration or worry out on Winnie or Clifton.

I believed them--I believed Tatiana too...

But at the same time, I couldn't bring myself to admit it to them. I couldn't risk losing Tatiana again. 

I didn't want to go without any more days of not having my arms around her not feeling the beat of her heart. 

I didn't want to live another day without seeing her smile, or hear her laugh. I didn't want to imagine a day without saying 'I love you' to anyone but her. 

I didn't have the heart to put her through any pain or worry. I swore that I was going to keep Tatiana safe from everything, and I wouldn't ever hurt her again. 

I couldn't worry her with things like this. She's dealt and been through enough because of me.

I look over at the nightstand at the small bottle of pills hidden behind the clock. I reach for it slowly before pulling my hand back, closing my eyes. 

It wouldn't matter how many pills I swallowed. Either asleep or awake
my mind would still be running with wild thoughts.

I look over at Tatiana once more before slowly slipping out of bed, careful to not wake her.

She moans lightly turning away as she snuggles in the covers as I grab my shoes slipping them on before walking out into the hall, closing the door behind me.

Down the hall was the hotel ballroom which we had reserved for dance rehearsals when needed.

Sometimes when I couldn't sleep, I'd go and dance alone, with no music.

It was the only thing that seemed to allow me to not think.