Home is You ('Home Is' Book One - Daryl Dixon)

Chapter 33 - I See Fire (Ed Sheeran)

NATE

"Hershel, do you think maybe....?"  I nodded at his gun, still sitting atop the bar.

Slowly his hand crept over. Took hold then tucked it securely into his waistband.

Reaching out my arms I enveloped him in a hug. Gently kissed his whiskery cheek and inhaled the scent of Old Spice.

I know it so well. Daddy insisted I buy it for him every Father's Day.

Don't know if a hug did him  any good, but it sure as shit is working its magic on me.

"Twenty years old today you said?"  Hershel asked me after another round of shots and other conversations about our lives....families.

I told him about my Mum, Dad and brothers. Haven't seen them for just two weeks shy of a year now and we gave another small toast to those we've lost.

Hershel and I are very much on our way to becoming friends.

He announced he's a recovering alcoholic.

I responded that after twenty or so years on the wagon? An apocalypse is as good an excuse as any to go on a bender. With the emphasis being on the 'a'  for the bender mind you  🙂

"So, Nate....do you believe in God?"

"Nup!  Not one little bit."

Hershel looked taken aback at my unhesitating answer. And I instantly apologised for being so abrupt and insulting.

Have to keep reminding myself. That not everyone  in the world just throws it all out there like us Aussie's do.

"I learnt a big word in Sunday school when I was four or thereabouts?"

Mum and Dad took the whole family to church every week, though I was never enthused.

"Hypocrite."

"As soon as I understood the meaning I knew it's me to a T. Oh, I believe there's something bigger than us in the world....universe even. But I never have and never will believe it's a divine or all seeing-entity."

Or aliens....like Leo believes  🫤

"I think maybe the logical side of my brain will never let me believe it? So from that day onwards, I've refused to go back to church. Refused to live a lie in order to make someone else happy."

"Didn't make the decision lightly, believe me. For years I've studied every religion to see if anything at all resonates, only nothing did. So, I've stuck to my guns and just lived a life doing what I think....hope rather....is right?"

"Well....I've tried anyways. I still reckon learning to be a good adult is like trying to eat tomato soup with a fork....for me I mean"  I trailed off sheepishly as he grinned.

"And what do you believe is the right way to live a life? And why didn't you say lived 'my'  life?"  Hershel asked with interest.

I gaped at him, genuinely puzzled as to why he'd even need to ask that.

"Because the life I have isn't just mine. No one's life is just theirs alone....is it Hershel?"

That's when I told him about my apple tree. Good choices in life versus bad choices. About how you've got to give some of yourself to others and vice versa.

Otherwise, you can't grow.

He seems to understand where I'm coming from.

"Twenty years old"  He repeated to himself again, shaking his head.