Kissing Men (BoyxBoy | Mature)

Chapter Forty-Five

The drive was quiet as we made our way back to the house from the apartment. Jay had been pretty much silent since I'd asked him if I had to leave him yet. He'd been silent as we dressed, and only gave me a small smile when he revealed my boxers from wherever the hell he'd hidden them. If he'd said anything, I no doubt would have giggled and blushed. 

Now, we were sat in the car in our first awkward silence. It really wasn't nice, and I just wanted to break it.

"Jay..." I started.

"Do you want to go into the business yet, Kaidan?" he asked, his voice soft. 

"What? No! I don't want to, I was just making sure that it wasn't your way of telling me to go away..." I fiddled awkwardly with the hem of my T-shirt. 

"Kaidan..." he whispered, a small smile on his face. "Never. I wouldn't ever tell you to go away."

I nodded a little, still thinking. "Do you do stuff like this for everyone you train?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, glancing over at me.

"Like, lend them a rent-free apartment, buy them clothes, everything you've done for me."

He was silent for a moment, a small frown on his face. "No..." he murmured as if it had only just occurred to him. "I don't..."

"Then why do it for me?" I asked. 

He thought a little more. "You're... Different. Special. I've spent the whole weekend with you and it has easily been the most enjoyable weekend of my life. I've never laughed, smiled, joked, as much as I have with you these past few days. You've changed the way I look at things... The way I look at myself..."

"How?"

"About my dad and everything he did... I always felt like I'd deserved it, like I was supposed to have a bad life. I didn't... I never thought about it the way you do... Like it was something I should never have been put through..."

I looked up at him, shocked. "You genuinely thought that?"

He hesitated before nodding slightly. "Kaidan, I know you're a bottom and everything but..." He took a deep breath, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. "You can top me if you want..."

I was completely speechless as I looked up at him. What was I supposed to say to that? He was trembling slightly, so I could see that this was a big deal for him. Clearly with what had happened with his dad, he wasn't comfortable with it.

"Jay, I..." 

"No, Kaidan, I mean it. I want you to. I've never... been with anyone like that," he said quietly, a slight blush on his cheeks. 

"Really?" I asked, looking up at him. I bit my lip before I gently put my hand on his thigh, trying to reassure him. "Something you haven't done, babe?"

He blushed even more and relaxed slightly. "Shut up..."

"Relax, Jay... Let's just get through tonight with Finn and Ollie first."

He nodded a little, a small smile on his face. "I can put my plan into action."

I blushed and smacked his thigh gently. "You shut up. Is it a black tie sort of place we're going?"

He thought for a moment, much more relaxed now. "It's a formal place, so I guess so." He was quiet for a minute as he chewed on his bottom lip. "Kaidan...?" he asked cautiously.

"Yeah?" I asked, running my thumb over his leg through his jeans.

"Will you were one of those thongs tonight...?" He peeked up at me briefly, his cheeks a flaming red. I'd never seen him blush so much, it was adorable.