Kissing Men (BoyxBoy | Mature)

Chapter Sixty-Four

~Kaidan's P.O.V.~

In the week since Jay and I 'split up' or whatever, I'd hardly slept to the point of not trying anymore; I just stared at the wall in silence. Now, waking up to the mid-morning sunlight streaming through my crappy curtains, I felt at least a little refreshed. I sat up, rubbing my eye. Last night had been... awful, but hopefully Ollie had managed to talk to Jay and... And what? And everything would be fine and he'd come and admit his love to me? I scoffed to myself as I got up. 

I grabbed my phone and while I shuffled towards the kitchen, scrolled through all the messages I had from Sam, asking me if I was okay, where I'd gone, then if I'd got laid. That last one had a little winky face with it. I rolled my eyes slightly. Typical of him. 

I stopped in the hall suddenly and sniffed. There was a weird smell of smoke. Like... burning. I walked quicker towards the kitchen and froze. 

"Jay?" I asked in disbelief. 

Jay jumped in surprise and turned around, giving me a sheepish smile. 

"What are you doing here?" I said harshly. 

"I, uh... I was making you breakfast. Well, trying..." he admitted quietly, shifting awkwardly. 

"Yeah but what are you doing here? In my flat," I pointed out to him, gesturing around the room. 

"I wanted to surprise you. And apologise."

I crossed my arms, taking a deep breath. I wasn't as upset as I thought I would be, seeing him. Instead, I was just pissed off. "So you thought you'd just break into my apartment to apologise for the worst week of my life. And nearly burn my kitchen down."

"When you put it that way..." he said softly, looking down at the floor. His hair fell into his eyes endearingly. "Ollie called me last night."

"He said he would."

"He put some things in perspective for me and... Here I am, I guess," he said, pointing to himself. 

"And what was that?" I asked, starting to get frustrated - not with him but with myself because of how quickly my anger was disappearing. 

"I love you."

The whole world stopped. 

I was quiet for a few moments as I just stared at him, trying to take in what he'd just said. 

"Sorry?" I asked, just wanting to hear it again in case I'd heard wrong. 

"I love you," he repeated quietly, softly... Sincerely. 

I had to take a deep breath to stop from passing out. Jesus... He really had said it... This was unbelievable. I thought hell would freeze over before I heard those words from him. I opened my mouth to reply before last night came rushing back to me, the look on his face with his wet lips while he... did things to that girl. 

"What about last night?" I questioned, trying to make my voice hard, harsh. "And the night before? Or how about this past week? How many people have you slept with? How many people have you fucked in the bed I lost my virginity in?!" I shouted suddenly, my anger taking over for a moment. 

He shrunk in on himself and rubbed at his arm self-consciously. He looked down at the floor as if it held the answers he was trying to find. 

"I... I haven't had sex with anyone."

I scoffed and turned to leave but he suddenly came forward and grabbed my wrist. The same spark that usually came with his touch hit me again and I let out a shaky breath. God, I'd missed his touch... Despite that, I forced myself to stay facing forward so I couldn't look at him.