The Regret(Editing)

Pain

(Tae's POV) Part 2

Warning: Angst, Anger. P.S Please forgive me for making this chapter

I couldn't help but to think about Y/N all throughout the ride that I barley noticed the rest of the boys laughing and joking around. I was caught in my own little world until I felt a tap on my shoulder and I look t see it was Jungkook.

"Are you OK Taehying? You've been really quiet. Did Jin feed you too much?"- Jungkook laughs

I smile, "No, I'm just thinking. I'll be alright"

Jimin who was sitting right behind them decides to join the conversation.

"You know we're all here for you. You can't keep quiet for too long."

"I know. But I'm really ok?- I smile back at them

We finally made it to Big Hit and got out of the car and entered the building. We waited for the elevator to take us to the dance practice room, where the dance practice room and studio were located. The elevator arrives and we head down to the practice room. We got to our floor and walk the hall leading to the dance room when I notice Jhope walking towards the studio.

"I'm going to be in the studio working on m mixtape so if you need me let me know!" Jhope say's cheerfully

"Ok, don't stay in there all day though." Yoongi says

I was glad to have a break from seeing him. I was still upset that I was not able to make breakfast for her, I was the one that wanted to make her happy. We all walk into the dance studio,did our 15 minute warm up and started practice. All I can picture in my head are memories of  Y/N and I joking around and making fun of the boys whenever they messed up on the choreography during practice. Dancing has been my only escape from the real world, to re live those memories. I would practice alone and would break down and cry, to the point that I would yell and throw things across the practice room. It was something I kept hidden from everyone till this very day.

Five hours past

We all started to take an hour break from practice, and PD ordered Ttteokboki and rice for us. It was pretty exhausting so we all needed it. After our break we began practice again I noticed Jimin about to leave the room until Jungkook shouts.

"Hey! Jimin-ah! Where are you going?'

"I'm going to get some water and a choco pie, I'll be back!"

When Jimin left I heard the radio stop and I hear Jungkook and Jin scream and turned around out of curiosity.

"Ahhh, Namjoon-ah! You ate up all the rice cakes!!!"

"No I didn't it was Yoongi!"

"Did not, Jin is always shoving food in his mouth!-Yoongi yells back, pushing Jin slightly on his shoulder.

"Shut up. I made you breakfast so at least show some appreciation!"

It didn't take Jimin long to come back only it was not just Jimin it was Y/N. When noona entered the practice room, my heart began to race. It was beating so fast I was afraid that everyone could hear it. With my ears plugged in I continued to dance and sing while music was playing from my phone, to hide the embarrassment. Suddenly noona calls my name and I stopped and glanced at her. She looked so beautiful,  which I've always said to her everyday. I couldn't help to smile at her.

"You look beautiful today Y/N, well you've always been"- I smile

She replies gleefully and says she's was here to was us practice and see Jhope. My heart drops once again. She sits down against the wall and watches us. As Y/N watched I was constantly looking at her with every waking move. 

After five songs, Y/N gets her things and says her goodbyes. The boys whine and begged for her to stay. Noona said she wish could could but wanted to visit Hobi

"Can I be your husband for the day" I smirk at her

She laughs and says her goodbyes. To be honest, when I said I wanted to be her husband for a day, I really meant that I wanted to be her husband instead of hyug. It made my heart grow heavier. 

After noona left with hyung, I took a break and went to the flower shop around the corner and bought a yellow flower. I returned to Big Hit and went to my studio, where I kept all of my photography photos and grabbed one of the wedding photos and place it in a yellow envelope.  I went back to the dance practice room until Namjoon rushes to the elevator with a radio in his hands.

"Namjoon! Where are you going!?" I asked in a worried tone

" I think I broke another radio so I'm going to meet Y/N to fix it and  we have a meeting with PD. You boys should finished practicing for another hour and a half and  then start wrapping things up. I should be back in about 10 mins!"

I walk back to the dance practice room and continued practicing. I was really anxious throughout the remaining time. After 10 minutes I decided to go up to the office to meet Y/N. I got into the elevator and made my way up. When I got to the floor I accidentally bump into Y/N. She was so surprised that I was there so I apologized to her.

I gave her the flower and the picture Jeju wedding  and a smile lit up her face.  She said it was not her birthday or anything but I wanted to give her something that mean't so much to me. Seeing her face bright up like that just makes it all the more painful, knowing that I couldn't be the one to make her smile everyday.

"I know." I said in a low and shy voice. I just wanted to brighten your day even more"  I smile  and I  suddenly stared into her eyes.

"Umm.. why are you staring at me like that" she laughs

"Sorry... I was just thinking of something and didn't realize I was staring at you! Sorry to hold you up. See you later noon!" as I skipped down to narrow hall, to the office.

As noona enters the elevator I look back, smiled and winked at her. As I approach the office door I stopped and stood there with my head down asking myself "Why couldn't that been me?" "Why did it have to be him" I felt so defeated. I felt so much pain in my heart that I just wanted to rip it out and toss it away for good. I wish I could tell her how I feel. If only she knew how I felt about her and Hoseok...

If only she knew that I was in love with her.