The Regret(Editing)

I WANT A DIVORCE

Here's the moment you've all been waiting for!!! Oh my gosh I almost cried typing this!!! Why do I do this to myself!!

WARNING: ANGER, ANGST, CRYING, SADNESS

It's been two hours since I came home and the first thing I did was call a hotel to book a room for two weeks. I finished booking for my hotel and quickly got started on packing, gathering my clothes I picked out from the closet, shoes, underwear and bras and putting them in my luggage. I then went into the bathroom and grabbed my toothbrush and the new box of toothpaste I had recently bought. I check on my phone to see I had several missed calls from Namjoon, and Tae. There were at least 7 voice messages from Namjoon and ten from Tae.

I sent a quick text to Namjoon but I didn't want to go any further as I just wanted to be left alone.

"Please Namjoon, I need to be left alone. You've already lied to me this once, I don't want to hear another." Five seconds later another text pops up. At this point I justed to toss my phone out the window.

"Please Y/N! It's not my intention to lie to you. I'd never want  to hurt you. Just please hear me out!"

"No. I won't. Please...I need to go"

I turned off my phone and and head out the door with my luggage and drove to the hotel in downtown Seoul. It was still early in the afternoon so I had time to calm my nerves. I checked in into my room, which was on the 7th floor, and sank into the bed, feeling the warm and softness. The room was clean, well kept, nicely decorated with pictures, the dressers were brand new and the bathroom was white and spotless with both a shower, a tub and hot tub. Before getting myself settled I put my things and away and went out to get a new but temporary phone, to distract melyself from Hobi and the rest who were on my contacts, except my parents and sister. I came back and officially settled in and put on my pajamas. I prepared a cup of hot cocoa and  had a nice meal that I had bought from one of the food vendors, and watched tv.

Again BTS showed up and tears were pouring out of my face again and I changed the channel. Nothing came on to help me relax. Nothing but sad Korean dramas about people breaking up, people getting a divorce in the courtroom, marriage counseling. I was getting more depressed by the minute. I turned off the tv and put my food away and buried myself under the covers and cried myself to sleep.

Two weeks later

I came out of the Korean courthouse, nervous, and having second thoughts about what I just did. I wanted this pain to go away so badly, it was tearing me apart. I went to Big Hit for the celebration party but what they won't know is that I won't be staying long for the party. I looked and felt horrible. I tried my best to look as descent as possible, with my hair loosely curled, and light makeup but lately my sense in attire was lacking. I was shaking profusely as I entered the building seeing people scatter and chat, happy and cheery. People looked at me with shock since they haven't' seen me in two weeks. I see Soonmin spot me and she runs to me and bear hugs me and I almost fall back.

"Y/N-shi! You made it! I haven't seen you for a while!" She starts to look at my face to examine me "Are you ok? You been really down for the past three months. You still don't look so well"

"I'm ok." I say hiding my face with my dull and lifeless hair. "So where's the party being held?"

"Oh I was just about to head there. Come on lets go together. We're about to make a toast in 2 minutes!" She says pulling me by the arm and drags me to the party down the hall

"Wait Soonmin! Please you're hurting me! I'm only going to stay for a few minutes and then I have to go." 

"Hmm! Why!? You just got here! Everyone is going to be so happy to see you!" still dragging me.