The Regret(Editing)

Now I Can Find Her

Hoseok's POV

I tossed and turned in the bed for the fifth time since I got back to the hotel after performing our last show in Beijing. My heart, my mind and soul was slowly losing itself that I felt I empty inside. The sweet scent and warmth that once was occupied by jagi was still no longer there. It's been seven months and I still desperate called jagi's phone hoping for an answer but as always there was only a voice message. 

We just finished our tour in Asia and were headed to LA for our last tour before going to Europe. I got up from the bed, turned on the and went into the bathroom before Yoongi wakes up, who was sharing a hotel room with me. It was 4 in the morning and we had to get to the airport by 6 for our 10:30 am flight. I showered, brushed my teeth, fixed my hair and put on a change of clothes before getting out of the bathroom.

Without looking I accidentally bump into Yoongi, who was half sleep walking and half awake.

"Yah. Careful Hoseok. You know I can't see. It's dark in here" he says rubbing his eyes as he turns off the light and goes back to the bed.

"You have to wake up, Yoongi. You're a grown 25 year old man, I can't wake you up every time" I sigh in frustration

"Damn give me like about another 5 years and I'll get up" He mumbles onto the pillow.

I was getting frustrated and decided to wait downstairs in the hotel lobby until everyone was ready. I sat down one of the couches and lean back into the seat, closing my eyes for a bit. Moments later I hear footsteps approaching me and I open my eyes to see PD, coming to sit next to me. He pats me on the shoulder, as I sit up to face him.

"Hoseok. I know you're heart yearns for her but you can't go on living like this. She is out there somewhere and we'll continue to do our best to find your wife. You're body is lacking, you're not eating enough and you've pretty much shut yourself out from everyone. Don't give up! Your heart is too strong to give up." He says giving me a slight pat on the back.

"It's been seven months. Why do I feel like I'll never get a chance to tell her why I did what I did? Why did I have to keep it a secret from her when she's the one that I'm doing this for? I want to see her so badly! I want to hear her voice! Every moment I'm not with her my heart stings. She was my backbone, my support. I cant give up but I feel like I'm nowhere near to getting her back." I say, holding in my tears.

"There's still hope, Hoseok. I know it. The only thing she didn't realize was that she didn't stay to hear what you truly wanted to say. But once you find her, you make sure she hears your every word!"

The elevator door opens and all of the members and staff approach us with their luggages and belongings, ready to go.

"Hey Hoseok...sorry for this morning. Jin texted me and kept me up all damn night with his dad jokes again, so I couldn't sleep well" he says, scratching the back of his neck, giving Jin an evil glare.

"But they were funny, right!?" Jin laughs hysterically as he playfully smacks Yoongi in the back, causing him to wince in slight pain

"How is "What's a Koya who eats tacos, a Takoya?" funny?" Yoongi says, glaring at Jin, smoothing his back

"I have to admit, it is funny, Jin" Jungkook chuckles beside Jin.

"Alright everyone. Let's hurry up and get to the airport. You know fans are probably waiting for us there so lets do our best to not get hurt." PD says as he gets get from his seat. I get up as well, putting on my hoodie before heading out of the hotel and getting into the van.

The drive to the airport didn't take long as it was only a 15 minute drive. We got out and entered the airport entrance, checked out bags and passed the 100s of fans, who were desperately grabbing onto our clothes to get a picture of us. After battling the fans and finally getting passed the metal detectors, we board the plane and take off on our 18 hour flight to LA.