Alice's story

Pop Life

"Hey, Ducky," I say as I walk into autopsy to see him doing an autopsy on a poor victim.

"Hey, Alice. What's up?" Ducky ask me.

"I'm avoiding Kate and Tony, they're at it again. Is he really dead?"

"Yes. What is it this time?"

"Food. Tony ate Kate's lunch. So, I've been thinking, since you're my father, we need to get to know each other outside of work."

"What are you thinking?"

"Dinner, every week so no matter what is happening we can talk."

"That's a good idea."

"No need to sound so surprised. I have good ideas, I'm not Tony."

"What day do you want to have the dinner?" Ducky ask me while I jump up onto the second autopsy bed.

"How's Sunday's?"

"Sounds good, as long as we're not working."

"Deal."

"I didn't think that you would notice," Tony exclaims while walking into autopsy with Kate.

"Here we go again."

"Oh, stealing food is okay if nobody notice," Kate hisses at Tony while Ducky looks over at them before returning to the x-ray he is looking at for his victim.

"It's not stealing, it's sharing!" Tony responds to Kate.

"It was my lunch! I didn't want to share my lunch with you."

"You see? You just said it was sharing!"

"Excuse me. Show a little respect. This is a place of peace and dignity," Ducky states to them while pointing to the body.

"That was before Kate got here."

"We need a mediator, Ducky, or I'm going to have to go to Employee Relations," Kate begs Ducky.

"Which would be tattling."

"No, going to Employee Relations is not tattling."

"It's the adult version of 'I'm telling mummy.'"

"You're so juvenile."

"Am not."

"Are so."

"Am not."

"Ducky, we need an unofficial mediator."

"Did you try Gibbs?" Ducky ask but everyone including him pulled a bad idea face.

"Ooh."

"Oh yes, I see your point."

"We thought of McGee."

"But we have no respect for him," Tony adds.

"And then we thought of you."

"I see... third on the short list. Well, at least I beat out Abby," Ducky says slightly sadly.

"Well, we just came from there," Tony informs him.

"She turned us down," Kate adds.

"What about me, how is poison-ivy before me?" I demand of them.

"Oh," Ducky says at the same time.

"Come on, Ducky! She's driving me crazy!" Tony begs of Ducky.

"I am busy, but uh..."

"Abby need these blood samples stat," Jimmy says while leaving with the blood.

"Yes, as I say I am busy. But I'm flattered that you would entrust your relationship to me. It will be rather like... marriage counselling."