A Weakness Called Love: Memoirs of an African Housemaid

CHAPTER 13: THE STIGMA

Enthralled by the fire of a burning passion, I did Mudi's every bidding. I did what ever it took to please him. I yearn for his approval, like a child wanting to impress her teachers. For Mudi is special. Mudi is not like any man in the village. He does not like the city neither does he believes in going to the city and work. Most men leave the village looking for odd jobs. Some of them come back during rainy seasons to farm.  But not my Mudi, he is too proud. He is a man with dignity and self respect. He farms during the rainy season and sells coconut by the road side and in the market during the summer.

He does not make much but does not beg another. Sometimes they do not cook in his house because He hadn't made enough. Hafsat never complains and they manage to hide their destitution, for Hafsat is a patient woman, a woman of few but weighty words. She is the epitome of patience. She supports her husband  like a soldier protecting his land. Mudi does not fear poverty.
He is neither rebellious nor docile.
He is principled, though his principles may not be the accepted standard in the village.

Confident and forward he has an image he needs to uphold. A fearless man that shan't be  controlled by a woman. He is impulsive and unpredictable.

I was walking back with Mudi from the market, when my eyes met my nemesis, Ameena. Ameena gave me a cold stare, She smiled her cold smile. A smile that never meant good things. It was pay back. After the beating I gave her, I knew there is no way in hell she was going to take it easy on me. I knew Ameena enough to know what that look meant. There was a look of satisfaction plastered on her face. She had gotten me. She had gotten a weapon she will not hesitate to use against me. All hell will brake lose because the living sack of backbiting and slander was about to wreak havoc and I was going to be her victim.

Although I despised being Mudi's dirty little secret because It made me feel low, but I felt the time to reveal our love to the entire village has not arrived. This time is the time to nurture our love, not to expose it to undesired scrutiny or unsolicited advice. But I know talking to Ameena will do me no good. She will never see reason. I just swallowed and ignored her.

We were about to walk pass her when she call out "Ladi, be well" she said and walked away without waiting for an answer. I knew I was screwed.

Ameena's gossip is out of this world. she is more effective and efficient than a radio. How she does it still baffles me. Before nightfall I was the talk of town. People caste me disgusting glances. I became the object of every conversation in the Village. When I went to fetch water, people kept staring, some will even comment "Tir, da Halin yaran zamani"( woe to the behavior of the girls of nowadays)

I was shunned. There was no point fighting back, because I will be fighting with everyone.
Me and Shatu were not discouraged by this.

Shatu even said " don't worry, it will blow off very soon. They will get used to it"

We were only worried about one thing, Mudi's opinion, what if he was swayed by people's opinions? I needed to talk to him and know how he feels about all this.

How do I get to him. Perchance his wife knows. But desperate times call for desperate measures. So we took our chance. We went to his house. I waited outside for fear of the people in the compound while Shatu went to call him.

Minutes later He came to our spot.
We exchanged pleasantries then I said
" I know you are already aware of what is going on. We are now the talk of town. I am being shunned. But my love for you remains, Mudi. The cries of all the villagers don't bother me. I know people are always jealous of something special. They are just like hens, when one finds a grain all the others attack it and try to snatch that grain from her. Our love is the precious grain, Our love is extraordinary. They want to deny us of our sweet love. Be mine Mudi, be mine forever. "

I stopped to breathe and I continued

"Like air, You run freely in my lungs, like blood You run unrestrained in my bloodstreams and heart, You are my everything Mudi. Please don't desert me. "

In the matter of love everything leads me back to you, I could run forever, search forever but I will always come back to you. I will always love you no matter what. I Love you Mudi, deeply. I wish I knew a word stronger than love. Accept my Love, I beg of you Mudi don't leave me. Give us a chance. All that is happening to us is a test of strength, let's be strong and pass the storm together, let us outrun the wind, all this shall come to pass. Mudi..."
I was already drenched in tears.

He came closer to me, his mocha black skin tempting to touch.
He looked at me as if baffled.
The anxiety in my body was taking a toll. The next words this living work of art will utter will determine the course of my life, my happiness, my hopes and my future. The air in my lungs was no more. I was suffocating of anxiety.

Then he said the words that shall forever be etched in my memory. He removed his chewing stick, for Mudi was particular about his oral health and said:

"To find someone who loves you more than you love yourself is a lifetime experience. To find someone who will do anything for you, who will risk everything for you is still a mystery to me. Yet here you stand. The girl who knows how to love. Who loves me as air, no matter how vicious I may be your love remains unchanged. What is the recompense of good rather than good. What does that love deserves, it deserves love in return. I will not give up on our Love. Ladi, I care for you and I will protect you."

Those were the most beautiful words I have ever heard in my entire life. They were magical.
Those words gave me peace.

Then I asked Mudi a request. Something to give me more peace of mind. To make me certain of his love.

"My Love, once in a while will you do me a favor and visit me, like all the other girls in the village. Just a few times, that is all I ask, please Mudi" I begged.

" I will see what I can do, I will sleep on it"
He replies.

Meanwhile everybody in the village knew. Even Hafsat knew. In fact many people ran to tell her, but she already knew.

When she was told, many people will ask her, "aren't you going to do anything?" Some will offer to take her to a soothsayer or a sorcerer to put me in my place, she declined all the offers and simply say
" I shall be patient with a beautiful patience. My Lord shall reward me for my patience. She is a test to me, Ladi is a difficult test to me, but by the grace of God, I shall pass this test. The world is full of challenges and ups and downs, if not Ladi I know I will have to deal with other things. At least I am not barren, I am healthy, still beautiful and I am my husbands' first wife. How can I ever complain? He is entitled to marry 3 more wives. To try to stop him will be like trying to make the lawful unlawful. I will pray and pray. Until God eases this pain. God will surely make things easy for me."

She knew, but she said nothing. She pretended not to know. But her body was not cooperating, she was getting lankier by the day.  Pain sears through her eyes like branding iron. She tried to be strong. She was strong.

We did not slow down, if anything I exerted more efforts in the pursuit of my beloved. Even when Shatu goes to call him, Hafsat pretends not to know and behaved with Courtesy towards her. When we met at our house She was civil with me. But me and Shatu were far from being civil, we gave her an attitude. An attitude of superiority and triumph. Mudi's declaration of love made me feel invincible and made Hafsat become this tiny insect in my eyes. An insect I can crush anytime. It gave me power.

Sorry for the late update. Thanks for reading.