A Weakness Called Love: Memoirs of an African Housemaid

CHAPTER 37: GRUMPY ASABE

When I went home, my mother broke into tears when she saw me. Not the tears I'm accustomed to, they were special tears. They were tears of joy, for I was plum, I was lighter in Complexion. Every one in my compound knew I looked more beautiful. I feel like some of them were even jealous. Jelousy is good, because then I know I am better. Their jealousy added to my arrogance. I had gain weight. I was thick  in all the desired places. My butt was was now visible, they stand out like two beautiful medium sized moulds of Tuwo stuck together, as I walk, they move in sync and harmony. Gone are the days when my breasts were the size of peanuts. I have graduated from peanuts and was now in the category of big fine oranges and tangerines. What a happy day. I look foward to shaking and wiggling my new assets in the face of my beloved. My mother held my hand lightly and turned me around to have a better look. I was proud of myself. I had indeed gained weight. In my community a woman's weight added to her beauty. A fat woman is always more desirable than a slim woman. So, by our standards I'm more beautiful now. If I keep up, I will be the envy of every girl in my town.

I yearn to be reunited with my beloved. Yet i waited, so as to prepared myself mentally and physically for our meeting. I rehearsed a good dialogue in my head for when we meet, how I can feed him sweet romantic words to his hearts delight. I had choses clothes for each of our meeting.

I went to the house at a very disadvantageous time. Asabe's husband, Dauda was planning on taking a new wife at the moment. All women go a little crazy during those days. The crazy varying from one person to another. It is said that some women actually go insane, some die of sadness and the air headed ones ask their husbands for a divorce, God Forbid. Divorce is a dangerous word. Being divorced is a great shame and it is a detestable act. Some women would rather go through hell on earth than agree to a divorce and they are right, divorce should never be an option. At least they can come out and face the the world as married women.

Yes, it is always better to be married.Asabe was in her crazy phase. Dauda had finally grown the liver of taking another wife. Before all this, All the men in the compound had lost hope, Asabe had always had him wrapped around her fingers. She was the Queen of her house. Dauda was looked at with disdain because of the lack of manhood he portrayed in refusing to take another wife. Now, he was being celebrated. It was like his initiation to manhood. Dauda was happy and proud of his achievement. Lahibu was going to be the new wife, Asabe's future co wife. The women in the compound were also celebrating. Finally, they now believe Asabe was not better than them, no matter how she bragged about her husband's love for her and how he will never be able to marry another woman as long as she lives. She is not above it after all.

The wedding was going to be in a week. Asabe made Dauda's life difficult. She insulted him in the most horrible ways. She refused to cook for him. She shouted and made side remarks about Lahibu. The women in the compound consulted and came to a conclusion that Asabe's madness had to stop. Someone needs to give her the bitter truth, a piece of their mind. My mother volunteered and they all happily agree. My mother had always been a strong woman who does not bite her tongue. Who feels no shame in putting people in their place. She believes every now and then women need to get a dose of bile in the form of words to remind them of their place. Asabe has avoided conflict with her perhaps because of the strength and how deep her words how words cut.

So she went and said to Crazy Asabe
"Asabe this madness had to stop, haba! Are you trying to make what is Lawful unlawful? How many women have endured having a co-wife? You are not better than them. So, did you think that Dauda will never marry again? The truth is men always want to marry again, just deal with it. The sooner you face the truth the better. For your sake and your children's sake, stop this nonsense. Insulting their father for no reason. Just because he is going to do the most natural things. Have you ever stop to think of how many times people who oppose a marriage die and the wedding takes place regardless.

Tred with caution Asabe, the world does not take it easy on anybody just because they are ignorant of its rules"

All the women of the compound were listening and were proud of my mothers words. They nodded with approval, some even chimed a 'that's right' others shouted 'rightly spoken'

Asabe looked at my mother in a  dramatically way. Her eyes red with fury, a sudden gleam of vengeance sparked in her eyes for her jealousy overweights her fear of conflict with my mother.

"Look, woman! Don't lecture me. Since I have to state the obvious, I am not ashamed of saying the truth. I am a rare gem that Dauda happen to find. I am a treasure that a lucky man finds. Dauda happen to be lucky because if it was based on any criteria Dauda can never have me for a wife. On a scale of 1-10 I'm a 12.. you can understand my SURPRISE not anger when I heard he was seeking another marriage. When I came to know the woman was Lahibu, I felt insulted not hurt"

She looked down at herself, an arrogant grin plastered on her face.

"If not for the virtue of marriage and predestination I will never have married him. He is beneath me on every level. The Prophet (Peace be Upon Him) had said that a woman is married for 4 things"

she continued as
She raised her right hand up and started folding each finger as she spoke.

"For her beauty,   
for her wealth,
for her lineage
and for her piety."

"Talking about beauty, I was the most beautiful girl of my time, I am still  exquisite. Its no surprise, I am my fathers daughter after all, A handsome normadic fulani heardsman. Fulani blood courses through my veins. I am fair and have the treasure of my clan"

she points to her full chest and continued

" it is Said my grandfather had 50cattles before the halter of all pleasures took him away.  so none of you will show me wealth. As for my decent I am of true fulani blood who are descendants of the Arabs, the clan of the holy prophet May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon Him. Dauda is lucky to have joined progeny with me. As for religious virtue, I have always been a devout wife.

You are a hypocrite for even trying to lecture me. I might as well go to Malam Dogo for lessons on virtue, dignity and self respect. You who had been trying to snatch your niece in marriage's husband and give it to your daughter. You who raise a daughter nobody wants to join ties with! A rotten brat no man in the village wants. You do not know anything about honor or patience. You whose husband proposed to Mudi's family? Since when Do a girl's family ever propose. All because you couldn't  wait for a husband, you were desperate. when Mudi's family refused your daughter your husband made a desperate attempt to give her in marriage to Hajji Shattima. Who as we all know will accept since he changes wives like seasons. "

At this point I wanted to shred Asabe into pieces with my bare hands but something she said got my attention, I was to be married to Hajji Shattima, the old fool! That was suppose to be be my money bank.

My mother hurled insults at her and went for a physical combat. A much younger Asabe retaliated the gesture. The two were locked in physical combat.

In previous years My Mother would have given Asabe the beating of her life.
But at last after twenty years of flawless victory  in Physical Combats, My mother met a challenging contender, both of them were struggling, neither getting an opportunity to give the other a good beating. Years ago my mother would have had Asabe on her back in the twinkling of an eye begging for mercy. But age is a bitch. Body's were scratched, hairs were pulled, blows were exchanged. Still they continued in their quest for victory. Neither gaining the upper hand.

My hands itch to scratch, punch and slap the arrogant fool. I wanted my mother to pass her to me so that we may show her we were not to be poked.

Finally, my mother pulled her signature move, she kneeled. For a brief moment Asabe thought she had won, that brief moment was all my mother needed. Asabe fell for the trick. Without notice My mother pulled a vein behind her feet which paralyzed her for a moment, my mother quickly hit her in the tummy, with the other hand, still holding on to that vein, she flipped her on her back and sat on her while she hit her.

The women came rushing trying to end the fight. They drew my mother away. She gave Asabe a final punch in the face, which made Asabe's nose bleed.
Serves Asabe right.

I was quite proud of my mother even when I was simmering in anger at my parents betrayal, even after years she was still a force to be reckoned with.