One Last Chance: A Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin Love Story

VIII

Remus felt anxious as the young witch led him outside her home, near a forest. For the strangest reason, he could smell the salty sea air and breathed in deeply. Were they nearby by a shore? He didn't believe it. How, after all this time, had he not noticed. Tonks' house was incredibly close to a windy and gusty shore, but the cliff side made him a bit nervous.

He didn't know why he continued to come over to her house over and over. Was he even sure that she wanted him to be her guest? He knew that he should keep away from her, and listen to his brain. Unfortunately, his heart said no. Remus kept finding himself back at her house. He didn't want to be near her. He'd already fallen and was seriously smitten with her, he didn't need Tonks looking for a relationship with him!

No, no, no. This was all wrong. The wonderful and beautiful princess was always supposed to marry the handsome and young prince. Like in the stories his mother told him as a child.  Of course, a wizard's life wasn't a fairytale. The fair lady wasn't supposed to marry a monster like him. She'd never fall for him.

But what if she had?

Tonks was certainly a wonderful person. Her kind and joking demeanor. Prankster smile. Remus couldn't keep away from her. What was wrong with him? He knew he wasn't allowed to fall in love. That seemed to be a forbidden thing for him. Love was so far away, yet so close. Remus found his heart beating rapidly and his breath hitching.

"Remus, I've been meaning to talk to you." she began, a mundane expression plain on her heart shaped face.
"Is this about coming to dinner and breakfast and lunch?" Remus stuttered and blurted, "I can stop, if you'd like."
"No!" Tonks cut him off, "It's not about that."

She glanced up at him, her fingers enclosed around his wrist. They were surrounded by trees and a lake on one side. She sat down, take him down with her. Her eyes seemed to cry and her lips were trembling. Was she feeling alright? Remus wondered.

"Remus. I- I..." she stopped and looked down, "Have you ever felt this warm feeling in your stomach? Your heart beating? Heat rushing to your face?"

Remus had begun to feel all these symptoms as she spoke. But what was she asking him?

"Have you ever fallen in love, Remus?" she asked, her wide and gentle hazel eyes looking up at him with wonder and awe.

His heart stopped. No, this couldn't be. He knew in his heart she wouldn't return his feeling. He must not have answered quickly enough.

He felt her warm palms press against the side of his face and draw him closer to her. In an instant, her gentle lips pressed against his, leaving Remus to feel like he was falling. His arms wrapped around her waist to pull her closer.

The kiss was gentle, loving, and sweet. A warm feeling bloomed in Remus's chest.  They lingered there, lips touching, eyes closed, arms in a warm embrace, just a moment longer. Remus's thoughts hit him like a brick.

What was he doing? He shouldn't be doing this! One, Tonks was Sirius's cousin and two, he was a monster. Someone who didn't deserve anything, nor love.

He had always compared their relationship to a blazing fire in a hearth and a person seeking warmth. The crinkling embers and the light flickering on the walls. Fire was wonderful and kind, but could be harsh and dangerous as well. Remus felt like he was the fire, Tonks the beautiful and vibrant person seeking hope in the flames. If she got too close to him, she would burn and be scarred for the rest of her life. But if she was colder for just a little longer, she would recover and never feel pain from the blazing hearth. Remus rather Tonks be cold for just a little longer, even if it caused the end of him. Without the person tending to the flames or keep it alive, the fire would die, slowly but surely.

Remus pulled away and leaped our of her warm embrace, regretting it almost immediately. Her eyes widened, breathing heavy and ragged. Her chest heaved up and down from the lack of air. As did his.

"I-I-I." he stuttered in reply, his eyes wide with fright.

He didn't deserve her. He never would. She needed someone young and rich. Someone who wasn't a monster. It wasn't that he didn't like her. That's a lie, a little voice said, you love her. This was all so new. Why had his life become so complicated? He looked away, hoping he didn't cause her pain.

Tonks' heart shaped face took on a sad expression. She looked down, her now brown hair covering her eyes.

"Oh." was her simple reply.

That was it. Remus ran. Far away, vowing silently to himself he would never cause her pain. He was going to throw himself into his work for Dumbledore, never to see the young Auror again. He didn't want to watch her fall in love with someone else. Get married to another man. Begin a family. A whole new life, without him. His heart wouldn't be able to take it. Remus prayed his legs would carry him so far, he'd never remember what happened.

You're being selfish, he silently scolded himself, you should be hoping she does fall in love with someone else. To help her recover from a little burn that you caused. The little voice taunting him was right. She did deserve someone better than him. Remus felt tears well up in his eyes. His heart raced, but soon sunk deeply, as if never to recover. That kiss... He felt something light up inside him. Something almost magical (well, they did live in a world of magic), but a brand new kind of magic. A flame rising in his heart, but it had been extinguished only moments ago. He furiously wiped away the tears that plagued his eyes.

Remus was in love. And he knew what he had to do.