One Last Chance: A Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin Love Story

XXXIX

He's not coming back, is he, Dora thought to herself, what a coward. She felt her eyes grow teary.

She headed back to her house after Remus had left, knowing her mother would murder him. And she wouldn't be able to stand seeing her mother's grief stricken face much longer. Yes, her mother did need hope and comfort, but her daughter's distress and disarray would not help.

What was promised in marriage? Had he forgotten that quickly. Only one thought filled her mind at the moment, Remus John Lupin was a coward. A pitiful wizard without the guts to stay with her for fear of a child. A helpless, unborn child.

She was sitting in their room, her room now, she supposed. Dora's knees were pressed against her chest as she curled up into a little ball on her bed. The pink in her hair had begun to fade a little to become a dull brown.

She made her way to the living, deciding to light a few candles and to just rest for a moment in the silence.

"Incendio." she whispered, the smallest flame rising from the singular candle in the living room.

Light flooded the room. It wasn't the warm flame it usually was to Dora. But a cold, unforgiving fire of hate. The candle reflected only a small part of how she felt at that moment.

Her resentment and frustration only grew the longer she stared at the flame. Her hands crept closer to the candle, warming them.

She could never forgive him for this. Over time, maybe resent him less and love him. But completely forgive without a second thought? Never. The promise was silence and uttered. Oh, how she knew she'd end up not being able to keep her word. Those amber green eyes that melted her heart. The graying brown hair that she loved to run her hands through. That smile. That timeless, loving smile. One look and she'd be able to love him again. But not this time. She couldn't forgive him this time.

Who was here to comfort her now? She wasn't at her mother's home. Her father was on the run for being a muggle born. Her mother stayed at the house, being a member of the Black family and a pure blood, she was better off than the rest of them. The Weasleys were considered blood traitors by society, they'd be killed if they were found by Death Eaters. She was a half blood, but her husband, on the other hand, was a lycanthrope, something she never minded and tended to forget, but also something they'd both be murdered for.

Tears began to fall, hitting the wooden coffee table with a splash. The only sound filling the room was her sobs and cries. Today was supposed to be happy. Bill and Fleur were happy and in love, finally married. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were supposed to be safe at 12 Grimmauld Place. Remus has volunteered to check on them. He promised he'd be back, didn't he? No, she knew he wasn't coming back. It's been too long.

He's been there for too long. Too long. There was so little time for everyone now.

Dora bit her lip, and tasted the salty tears that had trailed down her face. She took a paper from the stack of notes Remus had left for her over the months they'd known each other. This one contained a poem, a sonnet of compassion. Her fingers twirled the paper for a moment, then held it over the little flame.

The note caught fire. Remus' words burning along with the paper. The orange and yellow flames spread across the paper slowly. It became satisfying to watch it burn. She held the note with her fingertips, then finally set it down on the candle's flame.

She cried as the note burned. Two actions that represented two aspects of how she felt. Sobs racked her body while the fire rising was only a figment or her anger. Her frustration.

They've never argued like that before. He seemed so upset before her left. Leaving her distraught and confused. She'd never heard him yell before. He was always so gentle, with her and everyone else. She tucked a lock of brown hair behind her ears, her chocolate eyes glinted sadly and angrily, with a feeling of malcontent. Dora's lips were pursed, fighting back even more tears.

Her heart beat at a quick pace and she felt vulnerable. Her fingers trembled as they clutched to the other notes and flowers he'd left with them. She was shaking in the firelight.

Another note was thrown into the flame. On the paper was a note about how he felt when he'd met her for the first time, seeming utterly impressed and amused by her stories and smile.

The fire spread over the paper. She remembered seeing him at the 12 Grimmauld Place. He seemed so interested and so intrigued when they talked. His eyes lit up every time she had gotten excited about a topic. They made such an unstoppable duo on Order missions. Those memories were burned, along with the note. They were tucked into the back of her mind, left to be forgotten.

The third note—a drawing of a flower.

Its colors turned orange and yellow to match the flames. Him coming over for lunches and dinners. He helped her make food because she was terrible at it. The first day, she'd opened the door in only her pajamas. They'd laughed and shared stories. Those memories were burned.

The fourth—a nicely shaded heart with a poem. A poem of friendship and affection. 

She remembered kissing him for the first time. It was loving, gentle, and a bit awkward, as much as she hated to admit it. The wonderful feeling of having his lips on hers. Being entranced and trapped in a warm embrace of love and care. The warm feeling in her chest. The twinkle in his eyes as they pulled away. That was burned away to ashes just like the note.

The fifth note—just a few words of encouragement and kindness.

She remembered comforting him at Sirius' death and Dumbledore's funeral. The fight at the Department of Mysteries and the Battle of the Astronomy Tower. She remembered comforting him. Kissing him like there was no tomorrow. Him realizing that he wasn't worthless. That he deserved love and attention. Their patroni being one and the same. Her beautiful silver wolf dancing with twinkling eyes and a joking smile. Remus' looking both handsome and intelligent. Soulmates. Not an obsessive love, but soulmates.

The sixth note—a seemingly rough sketch of her.

He was an amazing artist and seemed to be able to capture her likeness perfectly. Her mind drifted to when he proposed. So nervous as he awaited her answer. Asking her parents permission before he proposed, like a gentleman. Sharing a kiss. Dancing in the rain. Heading back into the house and mess and soaked in water, but laughing and smiling all the same.

The seventh note—a fun limerick with a drawing of a star in the corner.

The wedding. His face when he saw her. Their smiles and vows. Promises of forever love and care. One of the most amazing shows of love and compassionate. The day she became more than just "Tonks" to him. Dora. Wife. Lover. Love. Dearest. Darling. Loving names reserved just for her. The day he became her husband and so much more. That memory was tucked away.

She fingered the rest of the letters in her hands, twirling and twisting the papers. She didn't have the heart to burn every single one.  Her heart softened and she sought his comfort. But that wouldn't be possible. For the first time, he wouldn't be coming back for her.

Such a sad chapter!!!! *sobs uncontrollably* 😭😭😭😭 I can't. We need something to cheer us up. I must find another drawing. But I cannot because I have not drawn anything lately. 😭😭😭 Anyway, has anyone started school yet? I've just started my freshman year of high school, if only I was going to Hogwarts. *sigh* Oh well.

Question of the chapter: what do you hate most about the movies?

To tell you the truth, it's how they didn't portray the relationships or characteristics of the characters. Honestly, my mom had to ask me who Tonks and Lupin's son (little Teddy) was and I was kinda happy cause I could explain something and she couldn't yell at me, but it was also sad. I also have friends who just HATE Ron because they've only seen the movies and didn't even know about Bill and Fleur's/Tonks and Lupin's relationship, which made me extremely sad. I could go on forever but I'm going to stop here.
Good luck in school!

Anyway, love to all,
Abby