One Last Chance: A Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin Love Story

XII

Remus didn't know what to say. She loved him! He waned to jump for joy. In an instant, his heart was crushed. He knew he could never get married. He didn't want to pass his condition to an innocent child. Nor could he make his wife an outcast.

He needed to pretend not to understand what she had meant. He needed to tell her that he didn't love her, his head was elated, while his heart hurt. He knew she was smarter than that. But it was worth a try. He needed to avoid her. He needed her to fall out of love with him. He needed to be away from her. This was the right choice, was it not?

In the weeks later on, Remus kept volunteering for the most dangerous of missions. He was going to walk to his death than admit he loved her. She didn't need to know that he loved her. She didn't need to know. But he had a feeling that she knew.

Tonks being extremely unhappy. Her usually bright hair was its natural dark brown color.  She was clumsier than usual, falling and tripping over the strangest things. At the Order meeting, she refused to meet his eyes. And when she accidentally looked at him, he saw so much pain, sadness, and tears.

Remus felt a little voice poke at him. Something didn't feel right. And it wasn't just Tonks' unhappiness. Something wasn't right at all. He glanced up at the stairs, where Sirius was, retrieving something from his room.

Something wasn't right. Remus knew it. His heart felt something was going to go wrong. And somehow, somehow, he just knew it was going to involve Harry and his friends. Some members of the Order quickly apparated to the Hall of Mysteries, where a great battle would begin.

The battle was fought. The battle was won. The battle was no more. These were some of the only words to play in Remus's head. Deaths. Casualties. These were normal signs of a battle, right? He glanced at Harry, who was so painfully James's son, it was hard not to address him as an old friend. As James Potter. He seemed to be in so much pain. More pain than a fifteen year old should be having.

Anger grew in Remus. Sirius. Sirius was dead. Gone. Lost from this world forever. Remus wanted to slam his fist against a wall. It was all his fault. Why didn't he move him away from the Curtain. Why? Sirius seemed so lively and joyful. Only to die. Now. When the war was far from over.

Deaths. Casualties. Hurt. Sorrow. Pain. Fear. Remus's chest began to hurt withe every step from the Hall of Mysteries. The rest of the Order members were tragically injured. Dumbledore and himself included. He glanced at Tonks and Moody, who were covered in blood and wounds. Each was injured severely, with broken limbs or bleeding wounds. Remus felt pain in his side. A few pain curses were thrown by the Death Eaters.

Sirius was dead. He's gone. Remus scolded himself. How could he let him die? It was all his fault. Maybe if he'd moved Sirius from the veil... maybe if he finished off Bellatrix LeStrange first. Maybe if he pushed him out of the way... but he would have died.

It was no matter to Remus. His life was worth nothing to the world. Just the casualty of one werewolf.  A creature. A beast.

Sirius's death has distracted him from nearly everything. He was even clumsier than Tonks. A few weeks later, Remus hoped to find some new mission for the Order. Something he could do.

He went to Dumbledore. Someone who showed him mercy and kindness. He's not the only one, a little voice in his head poked at him. His minded flitted to a certain pink haired witch.

He glanced at her, hoping she wouldn't notice. He watched the way her hair slowly change. It used to be a light brown. Hazel, you could call it. With hidden streaks of yellow and gold in her hair. Now, the color slowly shifted into a dark brown, matching that color of her chocolate eyes. He soon realized her appearance was influenced by her emotions. She looked up, seeming to feel his eye on her, and glanced at him, sad and depressed. Remus felt the same way. Sirius's death wouldn't be easy to overcome. For the both of them.

The pair of them walked side by side, away from a place of death and destruction. He refused to look at her. But he felt Tonks' eyes on him, and he felt her small hand slide into his. It was the first sign of comfort Remus had received. He couldn't stop himself from looking at her. She smiled, but her hair remained brown. There was pain in her eyes. Dried blood rested on her clothes, but her smile and eyes were the same. So many emotions mixed into it. Pain. Happiness. Hurt. Regret. Hilarity. Love...

She squeezed his hand gently, as if comforting him over his best friend's death. She must feel the same grief he did, he realized, this was her family member dying. And she watched it happen.

Remus nearly charged into the Veil during the battle. It was only best friend's son's anger stricken face and Tonks who'd stopped him. Holding Harry back was one of the hardest things he'd ever done, when he wanted to mourn too.

But what stopped him? What really did stop him? Tonks wasn't anywhere near him... but she was the only thing on his mind.

Remus didn't bother fighting the tears back. He brought his other hand to his eye and wiped quite a few salty droplets away. Tonks seemed to notice and let go to his hand to embrace him. Remus really needed that hug.

How did such a wonderful person like her not be afraid of him? He was a werewolf for goodness' sake! But she didn't seem to worry about that. As she hugged him, a single word of description was on his mind. Beautiful.