One Last Chance: A Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin Love Story

LXIII

Remus cried. He hated crying. His wife's calming presence gave him comfort that he'd never known before. Dora's chocolate eyes held so much love and emotion... he still couldn't believe that she'd fallen in love with him. Of all people, him. A useless, seemingly good for nothing, werewolf.

He never forgave himself for leaving her that night. He never forgive himself for not coming back immediately, but complaining about one of the happiest news a newlywed couple could receive. He couldn't forgive himself at all.

Sure, they were so, so happy. But he'd caused both of them so much pain for so long. He wished he'd married her sooner. They would've had so much more time with their son. He wished he realized sooner that love wasn't something you could bury deep down and forget about. He loved her so much, it hurt his heart to stay away for so long. It's for her own good, he'd always tell himself.

"You nearly lost me." he whispered, as Dora hugged him tightly. His voice cracked, "I wanted to die after you'd gotten injured and Sirius had fallen into the veil. I thought it was all over. That you'd never recover. And then, you... you made my life worthwhile."

"Then I thought you'd hate me forever when I left that night... I didn't know what to do. I was so lost without you." he continued, "I was so scared."

He was sobbing again, his heart racing and lips trembling. He was shaking. How would his wife ever forgive him for what he did. Sure, it'd been months since then, but he still blamed himself. How could they raise Teddy? Neither of them had jobs at the moment. Nor could they rely on Andromeda or the Weasleys for help all the time. How would they survive?

What's to say they would even survive this war? The odds seemed pretty hopeless, (not that they didn't have faith) but Remus couldn't risk his wife and son. He'd throw himself into any form of danger as long as they were okay.

"I love you so much, it hurts, Dora. You and Teddy. All of this has been haunting my nightmares and I can't put up with this anymore." he sobbed, helplessly, "I wish—I wish we got married sooner or even eloped, to escape this. All of this. We—we would've had so much time. So much more time. And now. Now we're all running out of time. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."
"Remus.. I—I didn't know.." his wife looked on the verge of tears.
"I—I loved you so much that I forgot what hating myself was like. I'd be so broken without you or Teddy. I never wanted to hurt you, but I thought it would be best and now... I've never been happier. What would I do without you, love?"

All that he said was true. He never wanted to hurt her or their son. But he couldn't stand to see her in pain, silently arguing with herself about what they could buy or what they couldn't. He'd had so many nightmares of her leaving him, like he'd done months ago. Nightmares of them dying... being tortured. Before, he could never admit it to his beloved, as to not cause her pain. But it was too hard to hold back now. 

He looked up at her, her chocolate eyes shining. Remus would've smiled had he not been in tears. Those beautiful eyes... the ones he'd fallen for. The ones that captivated him the moment they saw him. Those eyes that saw pain, happiness, compassion, love, torture and even death, but beautiful all the same.

They were so broken. So, so broken. Pieces scattered on the earth, never o find each other again. They would never be whole again, even after the war was done. So much death and destruction.

Remus was a veteran of the first wizarding war, but the wars weren't the same. Before, there was so much hope. So much determination. This one had more death. They'd lost so much, and had so little time for love. Hope had faded quickly. He knew there were days when they all had faith, but on others he wanted to cry out against the heavens, cursing luck and his misfortunes.

His wife was only a child, about seven or eight, during the first war, she'd never known this kind of pain. And she'd be experiencing a harsher, colder, and more destructive war. He had expected her to break before yesterday, but that only proves how strong she was. How powerful. How amazing.

He pulled her into a gentle kiss, soft and loving. The kiss was wet because of their tears. He didn't want to pull away, he wanted to live in that moment forever. Time wouldn't pass, the war wouldn't take anymore lives. All he'd feel was his wife's wet tears, soft lips, and hands running through his hair. He gripped Dora's waist tightly, refusing to ever leave her again or let her go. He smelled her delicate nature kind of smell. One that came from working in there garden. And the  faintest hint of baby powder and child supplies. He wanted to live in that moment, just he and his wife, side by side, their son safe and sound, resting in the next room.

They pulled away, ever so slowly. The moment they did, Remus wished he hadn't. To wanted to be back in Dora's warm embrace. The tears had dried on both their faces, leaving wet streaks. Dora's hands were still running through his hair, messing it up profusely. Remus would have protested, but with too utterly smitten and in love to say a word. His heart raced, feeling the same fluttering feeling in his stomach like that moment he'd first saw her. He found himself looking into her beautiful eyes, which were a warm dark color, that seemed to laugh as they twinkled.

He lifted a finger under her chin gently, having her look at him. Dora smirked, the smile on her face clear as day. She moved to kiss him again. Remus didn't understand how it started, but all he knew was that they seemed to be kissing very few seconds, each more passionate than the one before. Her hands were tangled in his hair while his gripped her waist. Their kisses were heated, passionate, and loving all at the same time. After a little while, they pulled away with finality, gasping for air.

Suddenly, Remus felt a tingling sensation in his nose. Oh great, he thought, damned allergy season. And he sneezed. Loudly. He watched as Dora's eyes widened and she accidentally tumbled off the bed in shock. He heard faint laughs from the floor.

"Help me up." she moaned. Remus looked over the edge of the bed, to see his wife, laying in the floor, arms spread and laughing. She seemed to have given up.
"Uh no, you didn't help me when I fell off the bed."
"How was I supposed help, you prat. I was holding Teddy."
"Are you okay?" he raised an eyebrow.
"No, now help me."
"Yes, yes, fine." he sighed and stood on the floor.

Remus took Dora's hands and gently lifted her to her feet. Then captured her into a tight but loving embrace. He nuzzled into her hair. He heard her laughing as he held her in the hug, refusing to ever let her go.

"I'm not leaving you. Ever again." he whispered, promising himself once more to his wife.
"You overdramatic tosser." she teased, leaning against him and giving up.

Never mind the moments before. This was the one he wanted to live in.

Hey everyone! So what's up??? Watching the Book of Life right now (awesome movie by the way, you guys should see it) and am completely in love with the story. Anyway, you should guys should see this...

Love you lil sis, Erenmikaarmin and I TOLD you I was gonna do it.

Question of the day, what are you guys dressing up as for Halloween. My friends, cousins, and I are going as students from Hogwarts.

Anyway, thank you everyone and HAPPY (early) HALLOWEEN. LOVE YOU ALL,
💖Abby,