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Chapter 8

I didn't tell Calum about my so-called "attempt." I didn't tell anyone. I wanted to tell Calum, but at the same time I didn't want to. Something in my gut told me I had just met him, even though I met him in September (which was almost two months ago), and he already knows my date of birth and middle name. There was just something that stopped me from telling Calum.

I was never one to show of my hands. I was always had fidgety hands. I played with them, twirled around the fingers, cracked my knuckles over and over, clenched and unclenched them—I was always picked on in elementary school for doing these things. They called me weird, a freak. Liz doesn't want to believe it, but putting on a large amount of bracelets helps me stop. It wasn't until now that I needed bracelets to hide a scar. Not that anyone will look at my wrist, anyway—I always have my hands buried in my pockets.

I walked down the halls of the school with my head down, my headphones on, and my hands stuffed in my jean pockets like I did almost every day. I quickly made my way to the very back of the school, put my backpack down, and sat there. After a while of sitting, I would feel fidgety. I would start bouncing my legs and clenching and unclenching my fists without even realizing it, and then I got up for a walk. I walked the perimeter of the inside of the school, retrieved my backpack, and quickly walked towards the hall in which my French class was located.

hi :-)

hey :-)

how are you?

i'm ok i guess

you guess?

i guess

you guess

i guess

anyway, how are you?

since you have to be a gentleman (which makes you an asshole) and ask me first

you're too nice luke gOSH

haha i'm okay

I really wasn't. But I figured lying to Calum was a lot better than saying, "I tried to commit suicide yesterday! Everything is just grand."

you're okay?

i'm okay.

okay?

okay.

*whispers* tfios

*whispers* i know

you've read tfios?

john green is my idol, even though he's a little shit :-)

that is very much true. well, i have to get to class, lucas robert. don't miss me too much ;-)

WHO'S TEXTING IN CLASS NOW? HA!

HAHA

HAHAHA

HAHAHAHA

shut up

lol no

you're mean

and i seriously have to go now

so byeeee :-)

byeeee calum thomas

omg i hate you so much don't call me that

i love you

you're a little shit