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Chapter 22

4/13/14

Dear Calum,

I feel a little bit guilty. I feel like I should write to you every day, but you and I both know that I'm too lazy to do that. Then again, you don't know I'm writing to know, and you'll most likely never see this journal...

I haven't talked to you in a while. I don't know why. I suppose it'd be best for me to stop writing and actually text you, but I can't help but feel like something is holding me back.

I haven't told you that I have nightmares yet, let alone the fact that they're nightmares of you. I can't bring myself to text you and tell you about my problem. I feel afraid to talk to you.

You said that you would always love me no matter what happens. I'd like to believe you, Calum, I really would. But I am a firm believer of trusting my own instincts, and I feel like these nightmares are a sign. I feel like they're a sign that we should just forget about each other and move on with our own separate lives.

But you know what? Screw it. Screw it all. If we're able to speak to each other despite the time differences, then we can overcome anything.

I should really get myself to talk to you soon. I hope these nightmares stop.

Forever Yours,

Luke

✘✘✘

"Li—Mom?"

I almost smacked myself. Last time I called her Liz to her face, she hit me. Said it was disrespectful. I know better than to call her by her first name.

I walked out of my bedroom and crept silently towards the living room. I looked around the area, and Andrew was nowhere in sight. I assumed that he was out shopping or perhaps he was working—the last one was rare, since Andrew never works on Sundays. Liz was on the sofa with Molly beside her and a book in her hands. She looked up at the sound of her name, and put the bookmark in her book.

"Yes, Lucas?"

"Erm, I got a packet from school."

"Do I need to sign it?" Liz asked. I walked over to the sofa and sat next to the armrest. I held the packet in my hands. I was afraid that I would crease it with how tight I was holding it.

"Yeah, you do," I said nervously. "It's just that, um... I don't know how I got it. You got a packet only if you paid, and the fee was three hundred fifty dollars..."

Liz laughed. "We paid for it, silly."

I looked up at her. "Y-you did?"

Liz nodded, a smile on her face.

I was astonished. "B-but I...I was failing math! I passed the class with a 60.5 percent! You said I couldn't go on the trip unless I got B's and A's, preferably A's—"

"Lucas," Liz said with a small sigh, "we know how happy these fieldtrips make you. It's your senior year, Luke, and it would be a shame if you didn't go. We want to see you happy, so your father and I paid the fee for you to go."

I felt like my breath was taken away. "Really?" I asked breathlessly.

"Really," Liz laughed.

A smile broke onto my face, and I started to laugh. I don't know why, but I felt like crying. I knew for a fact these were happy tears, but it felt weird to feel like crying.

As much as I despised Liz, she did something good for me. I need to repay her someday. The least I could do right now was give her a hug.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" I squealed, holding her tightly. Liz laughed, and she returned the hug.