Beyond the Reasons || JUSTIN FOLEY

Thirty-Four

PRESENT TIME
JUNIOR YEAR
JEFF'S GRAVE
TAPE 6, SIDE A
IMOGEN'S POV

I didn't meet with Sheri, mainly because, I didn't care what she had to show me, or tell me. I didn't want to know, I didn't want to see her, I didn't want to talk to her, or be around her. She lied to me, for weeks she lied to me. She knew what caused Jeff's accident, but she wanted to keep her secret so bad, she let people slander him and she let people say that he was driving drunk when he wasn't.

And she had the nerve to call herself my best friend.

If that were the case, she would've told me the truth the moment it happened. Sure, I still would've been mad at her then, but at least if she would've told me the truth, I could've found it somewhere in myself to forgive her, but now. I don't think so, because instead of hearing the truth from Sheri. I heard the truth from Hannah.

Who's dead.

I am such a bitch. Hannah tried to tell me. That Monday when we came back to school, I realized, in the bathroom, Hannah was trying to tell me the truth about what happened, but I was so angry and so heartbroken that I told her drama doesn't count unless it's drama about her. Wow.

I'm such a bitch.

►

"I've told you about two of the worst decisions I ever made. . and the damage left behind. . and the people who got hurt. There is one more story to tell. . one more bad decision. . and this one's all on me. No. . it wasn't the decision to go to the party. Because how could I have known? But it was the same night. That same awful night. Remember that story I was saving for later? Well, this is it. And it's all about you. . Clay."

❚❚

"Holy shit."

I mumbled to myself, and paused the tape. This was my brother's tape, which only made me question one thing. Has Clay listened to my tape yet? And if he has, is he going to lash out on me like he's done with everyone else after he finished their tape. I don't even know what I did, and I'm scared that my tape is next, because Justin, Jess and Zach all said I'm somewhere after Clay.

But Clay loved Hannah, and he was probably heartbroken knowing that his name was going to be on this tapes, and I could only wonder. Has Clay listened to his tape yet, and if he has. . is he okay? I don't know what Hannah thinks my brother did to her, and maybe she isn't telling the truth, because I know Clay.

He would never hurt anyone.

►

"Clay, I know you're asking yourself why you're on these tapes. What could you possibly have done? What else could've happened on the night of Jessica's party? Part of me was saying 'ask me again.' But part of me was saying, 'don't go.' Not even for Clay. I should've listened to that part of me. See, I never told you, Clay, but I've always admired you. You are who you are and you don't care. And I always cared what other people thought of me, as much as I acted like I didn't. Is that a boy/girl thing, or a Clay/Hannah thing? I bet you also wish you'd never gone to Jessica's. Right Clay?"

❚❚

I wish a lot of the things that happened that night, didn't happen. Well, the main thing. Jeff's accident. If I could go back in time and prevent one thing from happening, I would prevent Jeff from leaving. We didn't need more beer, everyone was drunk enough to last them until they fell asleep to wake up with the worst hangovers ever. We didn't need anymore beer, we really didn't. By the time Jeff left, I was tipsy, but there was still plenty to drink left.