Beyond the Reasons || JUSTIN FOLEY

Nineteen

STORAGE ROOM
IMOGEN'S POV

"J... I really gotta go." I said. Justin and I were making out in the old spot that we used to at the beginning of our senior year when we were secretly hooking up then after I initiated it in the summer. Justin leaned back in to kiss me again which I smiled as I kissed him back. "Are you okay from this morning?" I asked.

"No... are you?" He asked.

"Justin... I hallucinated Monty and Jeff that day before you came and found me, and it was awful... yet everyone is saying that I wanted this drill to happen when I don't even know if I'm okay." I said and Justin pulled me tighter into his embrace and ran his fingers back through my hair. "Nothing is okay... Zach got stoned and told Winston that he beat up Bryce." I said.

"Fuck! Uh... What?" Justin asked.

"Winston told Diego," I said and Justin's eyebrows furrowed.

"Wait... so you're still seeing Diego?" Justin asked.

"Justin... I told you that I have to, for this exact reason. He and Winston are on a damn mission to find out what really happened to Bryce and if I just drop him and immediately go back to you, he's going to get suspicious and know that something is up. I have to handle this." I said.

"Okay, but is that all this is? It's just you handling him, or whatever?" Justin asked.

"Yes... Justin, I've never felt anything for Diego. The whole reason I got with him was that I wanted to piss you off and hurt you the way you hurt me when you broke up with me, but it's always going to be you, Justin... I love you." I said as I nuzzled my head into his neck and I felt him kiss my forehead.

"I love you, Mimi."

―

FOUNDRY'S OFFICE

"He left?" Justin asked. The two of us were called into Foundry's office with him and Sheriff Diaz because apparently, Clay somehow snuck out of the facility. "You mean he escaped?" Justin asked and Diaz nodded his head.

"Yes." He said.

"How did that happen? He was literally strapped down when we saw him." I said.

"Still unclear," Diaz responded.

"Oh my god... my parents are going to lose their fucking minds," I said while taking a deep breath. Diego and Winston are stressing me out, I'm still trying to work through my hallucinations from the drill with Dr. Sharpe and now Clay has escaped from the facility.

This is just fucking great.

"Justin... Imogen... I know that Clay and I have history, but I am still here for him...-" I cut Diaz off with a scoff.

"...-Really? You wrongfully arresting him for Bryce's murder is what you call 'history?' Are you kidding me?" I asked him. Diaz held my gaze but he decided not to comment.

"But I am worried about him. He's in a fragile mental state." Diaz said.

"Yeah, you can thank Bolan for that." Justin snapped.

"It's not safe for him to be alone right now. He could act out violently." Diaz said.

"Clay wouldn't hurt anyone," I said.

"Not even himself?" Foundry asked. Justin and I both looked at each other but didn't say anything. We couldn't. It's very possible that Clay would hurt himself before hurting anyone else. But I didn't want that to happen.

"Do either of you know where Clay is?" Diaz asked us.

"I have no idea," Justin said.

"Neither do I... I mean, I'm pretty sure he doesn't have his phone, right?" I asked. When Justin stood up, I did too, because I figured he was about to end this meeting right here.

"But anywhere is safer than this school."

―

DR. SHARPE'S OFFICE
THIRD PERSON'S POV

"So you don't feel safe anymore?" She asked.

"How can I? School is supposed to be like a safe haven, but now it's even more fucking terrifying. Jeff died nearly two years ago and it broke me, and I'm just now hallucinating him? Am I crazy? Am I unstable?" Imogen asked her. Her head was racked with questions.

"You're not crazy or unstable... well, you're not crazy, but your mental state may be a little unstable given everything you've been through since your freshman year when Bryce almost assaulted you. And that's perfectly normal." Dr. Sharpe said.

"Having hallucinations isn't normal..." Imogen said while shaking her head.

"A few sessions ago, we talked about control. Do you feel like you're losing control?" She asked and Imogen nodded her head.

"Yes... ever since that drill... everything feels so out of control, it feels unstable, it feels unsafe..." Imogen whispered while wiping her eyes.

"Okay, so tell me about a time... and it doesn't matter how far back you go... but tell me about a time where you truly felt safe." She said and Imogen sighed as she thought back.

"I remember uh... well there are a few things, but um... the night that I told my dad about Bryce, uh assaulting me. I was so scared, I mean, truly terrified. I didn't know how he was going to react, but... the first thing he did was, he sat down on my bed with me and he ran his fingers through my hair like he's done my whole life to comfort me, and he looked so worried, I could see in his eyes that he was trying not to break. When I finished telling him what happened, he gave me a hug and it was like all my fear, my worry, the shame, the guilt, in that small moment it all went away. I wasn't thinking about any of it. I was just happy my dad was there." Imogen explained.

"Imogen, why do you think your parents worry about you?" Dr. Sharpe asked.

"I don't want them to..." Imogen said.

"But why do you think they do?" She asked.

"Because... everything I do, because of the... assault. Because I waited so long to tell them... I mean... I messed up and I do mess up..." Imogen said.

"Do you think that if you were perfect, they'd never worry... about where you were, what you were doing, if you were healthy? Happy? Safe?" She asked.

"I don't know... because I could've had all that, but it still wouldn't have stopped Bryce from assaulting me, because no matter how 'perfect' I am, he was always going to do what he wanted to do," Imogen said and Dr. Sharpe nodded her head. That was the point she was hoping Imogen would be able to connect.

"So then they would still worry about you?" Dr. Sharpe asked and Imogen nodded her head.

"Yes..." Imogen said.

"Okay, so when they do worry about you... I want you to remember that feeling that you just told me about, and just be glad that they're there." Dr. Sharpe said and Imogen nodded her head.

"Yeah... yeah, I can do that."

―

So, I didn't do Imogen's college interview because, I mean, I kind of didn't want to, and this chapter was written past midnight, so I just got lazy.

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xoxo.