Almost Lover (Harry Styles) - Book 1

Chapter 29: A Not So Good Start

-Harry's POV-

I drive through the familiar streets of Cheshire, happy to be home but feeling empty inside.

It's been three days since Ava and I have spoken. I am still so pissed at her. I just can't help it.

I literally thought she had drowned. I have never felt so much panic in my life as I pulled her body up onto that pool deck. I leaned down putting my ear to her mouth and she wasn't breathing. As I started CPR the tears streamed down my cheeks. There was no stopping them.

Then she blew the water into my face laughing. Anger washed over me so quickly I couldn't see straight. I couldn't believe she did that to me.

She tried to stop me when I walked away from her. When she pulled me back to her I wanted to scream in her face, I couldn't even bare to look at her. How does she not understand how I feel about her? How does she not get what thinking she was fucking dying would do to me?

Because she doesn't feel. I have to keep reminding myself of that, especially over the past three days when I've seen her and just wanted to wrap my arms around her. She doesn't feel. She doesn't let herself.

And I feel every single damn emotion in the book when it comes to her. Every time I see her I have to push those emotions away. The effort I put forth makes me feel like a fool. Here I am, spending every second thinking about her while she is spending every second convincing herself she feels nothing for me. That is fucked up.

I smack my hands on the steering wheel in frustration. That only pisses me off more when I feel the stinging pain coming back from punching a brick wall that day.

I pull into the driveway of my old house. Ava should be with me right now. I should be bringing her home to meet my family on Holiday. Does she even think about things like that? Meeting my family one day?

Of course she doesn't, I remind myself. She doesn't even think of the present with you, you actually think she's sitting around thinking of a future with you?

I try to compose myself as I pull my bag from the boot and head towards the door. It opens before I reach it, my mum crying and reaching out for me. I quickly wrap my arms around her. God, I've missed her. Robin shows up behind her giving me a hug and pulling me inside the house.

The house still hasn't changed. The furniture never changes, it's always smells of cinnamon and my room is the same as the day I left for X-factor. And I love that. I walk in this house and all the bullshit just fades away. Here I never have to second guess people's intentions or feelings for me. Here I am just me.

I barely make it in the door before I hear Gemma bounding down the stairs. She grabs me into a hug then looks behind me.

"So where is she?"

Crap. They actually thought I was bringing Ava home. I don't blame them, not with the way I talk about her.

"She's on Holiday in Rhossili with everyone." I shrug my shoulders.

My mum and Gemma share a look before both raising eyebrows at me.

"So then why aren't you on Holiday in Rhossili?" My mums asks.

"Cause I wanted to see you." I answer with a smile.

"So why didn't she come with you?" My mum presses me further and I groan.

"We aren't together mum."

"Still?" Gemma scoffs, "So when exactly are you planning on getting the bollocks to make that happen?"

"Language Gemma." My mum warns before turning to me, "But really Harry, when are you two going to push on with it?"

I sigh, raking my hands through my hair. "More easily said then done."