Almost Lover (Harry Styles) - Book 1

Chapter 86: "Make me not feel anything."

-Harry's POV-

"You're fucking lying." I can barely speak the words out, suddenly having trouble breathing. She doesn't mean it. I know she doesn't.

"No I'm not." She shakes her head as a tear slips down her cheek.

"Yes.. yes you are. Ava don't do this." I plead with her, wiping the tear off her cheek with my thumb.

She looks away from me, not being able to hold my gaze. Something she can never do when she's lying to me.

"I think it's already done." She whispers, trying desperately to hold back tears.

"No, its not. You're still here... you're still here with me."

She looks up into my eyes and I see so many emotions it breaks my heart. She doesn't trust me anymore, and why the hell should she after what I've done. After everything I've done since we've met.

Pushing myself on her when she wasn't ready, being possessive of her when she wasn't even mine, butting in when she wanted to be able handle things alone, and going behind her back to get what I want.

God, when I think about all I've done I don't blame her. I've basically been sabotaging our relationship without even knowing it since day one. But she put up with my shit for so long, surely hoping one day I would have enough confidence in us to stop and just simply be with her.

And she's like that even after all she's been through. Forgiving and patient and so many other things. And I love her even more so because of it.

"Then I should probably go." She says, finally breaking the silence between us.

"No." I shake my head at her. "No."

"I'm sorry."

She turns to leave and I grab her arm, causing her to look back at me.

"You need to just let me go Harry. Just let me go."

And with that she's gone, taking my heart with her as she walks away from me.

I don't know how long I stand outside leaning against the balcony. I know at some point the music stopped and the talking died down, but I don't move.

"You alright mate?"

I look over, finding Louie standing next to me with a frown on his face.

"No."

"What happened? I've been looking for you for ages. Ava left hours ago. I thought you had a special night planed or some sort."

"Well that's all changed being she broke up with me."

"She what?!" He practically yells, causing me to finch.

"Don't make me repeat it."

"Why?"

"Alot of reasons." I shrug my shoulders.

"Were any of them legitimate?"

"Only every single bloody one." I answer honestly.

"I'm so sorry mate." He pats me on the back.

"I've never felt so shitty in all my life." I admit.

"What can I do?"

"Make me not feel anything." I sarcastically reply.

He stays silent for a moment then his eyes light up, "I know exactly how to do that."

"And how's that?" I ask, grateful for any suggestion.

"We get properly pissed. There's nothing like a belly full of pints to make you forget all the fucking s.hit you're going through. I could use one myself. One that doesn't end in being arrested of course."

Normally I would immediately shoot down one of Louie's ideas but right now I'd do just about anything to not feel for even a second.

"Alright. Lead the way mate." I answer him, bringing a smile to his face.

Louie quickly calls a car to take us to the nearest pub. We drink pint after pint in between various shots. Three hours in and I don't feel a thing. My body is completely numb.

That's the last thing I remember before waking up in my hotel room the next morning. The sun shining through the windows causes me to cruse profusely being my head is pounding nonstop. I can literally smell the alcohol on myself.

I start to sit up in bed and realize there's an arm around my waist. I glance over seeing brown hair spilled out onto the pillow next to mine.

Ava.

I literally want to scream in happiness. I don't remember how I was able to mend things with her, but at this moment I don't give a shit. She's here with me. I couldn't be happier.

I'm pulled out of my little happy trance by a knock on the door. They can just piss off. I'm not answering it. I'm fucking done with everyone ruining my time with her, including myself.

I lay back in bed as they knock again, ignoring them as I run my hand up and down Ava's arm.

By the third knock I've had it and I start to get up to tell them to fuck off.

Just as I stand up I hear a voice call from the other side of the door.

"Harry. Please answer the door. Please."

I feel my heart suddenly stop as I recognize the voice.