Double Down (a double standards series) Dark Romance (Part 7)

How Many Sugars Would You Like?

The past few day's have went by in a foggy haze. I'd wake up in the morning and think it was all one realistic nightmare but then I'd here my mother Miri cries from down the hall. My mother hasn't stopped crying since she woke from the stupor my Pape put her in. Like right now, today is the funeral and my Pape can't manage to get my mother to crawl from underneath her blankets.

I took a quick shower and dressed in my Sunday best and tried to drown out my mother's weeping.  The funeral service wasn't until two this evening and it was barely eight a.m. There was no way I could continue to stay cooped up any longer around all this sadness. Not that I wasn't sad, I was absolutely devastated but I needed a breather from this depressing atmosphere. People were continuously stopping by or calling offering their condolences. Not that I didn't appreciate it but I can't come to terms with this tragic loss and all the visitors, calls, weeping is just a reminder that my grandparents aren't with us anymore and I'm not ready to face that.

Leaving my room I made my way down the hall. I stopped as I passed my parent's room. The door was ajar so I peeked in. My mother was lying across her bed still in the pajamas my Pape had put on her the night of the deaths. Her hands covered her face as she wept. "Please don't make me go Olive, please. I can't handle this".

My Pape smoothed her tangled hair as he spoke softly. "I know baby girl, I know but if you don't attend you'll regret it later. I need you to get up and bathe as well as get some food in you. I'm worried baby girl. You haven't ate, bathed or barely slept in day's" .

In a crying rage my mother pounded the bed with her fists. "I don't want to fucking  eat or sleep Cole. I just want my Pape. I want my Pape and my mommy back. Can you do that Olive, can you bring them back. No you can't. Nobody fucking can. Why can't everyone just leave me the fuck alone?"

Her voice broke out back into son's as my Pape gathered her up in his arm's and held her right while rocking her. Wiping away my own tears, I made my way in down the hall. Mizery was sitting on the couch fresh from a shower and in her robe. As of yet I haven't seen Mizery shed a tear but that's her way. I know my sister well enough to know that she is hurting too, we all are. Mizery isn't good with emotions. She keeps them burried deep inside and unleashed them during her training. That's why she's so lethal. All her pent up aggressions come out duiring battle. She held Pop Pop's favorite knife in her palm as her finger played with the tip. Pop Pop had given it to her only hours before his death. Walking by, I squeezed her shoulder. "I'm going out for a bit sis. Call if you need me".

She only nodded and went back to her knife play. It was extremely hard to walk past my grandparents apartment knowing they'd never occupy it again. In a hastey decision, I opened the door and stepped in. Immediately that familiar smell that was so them attacked my nose and I half expected one of them to come walking around the corner to greet me. Stepping further in I saw King sitting on his mother's favorite Chase lounge staring out at the city skyline just like G mama use to do. Apparently he had been staying here alone since this occurred. He had become so withdrawn since all of this. I imagine he has a lot weighing on his mind. It was his birthday for Christ sakes. He'll never forget this. His birthday will always be shared with this dark memory. Maybe he's even blaming himself for wanting to be in New York to celebrate, thinking if only be stayed home they'd still be here. Clearing my throat I spoke. "I'm heading out for some fresh air. Want to join me?"

Slowly he shook his head no. "Thanks CJ but I better start getting ready".

Nodding my understanding, I went on my way. The entire building held a eerie silence as if it too was in  mourning. As I stepped off the elevator I bumped into Ari. Giving me a hug she asked. "How you holding up sweety?"

I could only nod for an answer. Over the year's her and my Pop Pop had gotten pretty close and I could tell she had recently been crying. Giving me that familiar Harper state that was wired into our DNA she spoke. "Don't fret, Demarco has the men working every angle on this. The bastards will be found and we all will get a turn at them".

" I'm looking forward to that". I said with venom.

Ari patted my arm and excused herself. My next stop was the Den where most of the men were gathered piecing this all together. I spotted Demarco amongst them as he reviewed all the new details. Sam stood back and she seemed deeply worried over Demarco. He hasn't stopped since this happened. Taking a deep breath I made my way out. My biggest fear was this family would never be the same. I stuffed my hand in my pocket as I walked the streets in thought. My thumb rubbed across my Pop Pop's pocket watch and I  recalled how he looked at me in his final moment's. It was like he was telling me to hold the family together. Mumbling to myself I said. "I promise Pop Pop, I promise" .

Soon as I said that I noticed I had came to a stop in front of that coffee shop. I must have absent mindily strolled here. Looking through the glass I saw the girl that has captured my interest. I watched As she served customers with a pleasant smile. Grabbing the handle to the foor I knew I had to talk to her.Giving a low chuckle I looked up toward the sky. "Stop pushing Pop Pop, stop pushing."

I walked in and a instant calm came over me as the smell of coffee wafted to my nose. I stood in line and awaited my turn. This girl never wore her hair down but today she had it pulled back in a neat ponytail. For once her nametag was visible and I read her name. "Alice".

Another smirk came to my face as I recalled I and Pop Pop's last conversation. I admitted that I didn't know this girl's name and never uttered a word to her besides my order. Is it just a stroke of luck that she has her hair up so I can see her nametag or is someone up above trying to help me out. I laughed again at that crazy thought. Finally it was my turn to order. I stepped up to the counter and looked down in her blue orbs. She smiled brightly. "Hello. Would you like your usual or something different this morning?"

I never realized she knew what my usual was. I found myself tounge tied. Fuck, why does this happen with her. At clubs I have no trouble coming onto chics but with her I go dense. She's also different from the girls I usually hook up with. Most are overly made up, fake little princesses but not Alice. No, Alice is a bit on the plain side. Little to no makeup, straight hair and looks right at home in her t-shirt, jeans and sneakers without socks on her feet. I realized I was just standing there and felt my cheeks heat up. Clearing my throat I finally put a few syllables together a form a sentence. Nodding toward her  nametag I managed to mumble. "Alice, I'll just go with my usual".

She needed brightly and said. "Coming right up".

I watched As she made my coffee to perfection. A few minutes later she came back with my order. I watched As she  rung me up. Before she could finish up I blurted out. "My grandparents are being buried today."

A look of sorrow came across her face and I instantly regretted saying that. Hell, I don't even know why I blurted that out. "I'm do sorry. My condolences" . She said.

"Thanks". I said lowly.

I knew I probably just blew my chances with her. I just wanted to pay and get out. I handed her my cash but she shook her head. "Don't worry. It's on the house today" .

Great, now I'm a charity case. Not knowing what to do I nodded my thanks and bolted for the door. Once out I inhaled the crisp air. Walking back home I berated myself for acting weak.

Once home, by some miracle my mother had showered and dressed. Now the only thing left was to get through this final stage in hopes of holding it together. By one the entire family made its way to the church. We were all quiet, locked in our on thoughts.

This would break is all.