Double Down (a double standards series) Dark Romance (Part 7)

To The Grave

Instead of picking up where CJ and I left off, I watched his retreating back disappear down the hall. The sound of his bedroom door shutting signified that our problems would have to wait until later and I was ok with that. I'm sure both of us was exhausted from running from the Bahamas and the events that took place today. Besides there's no telling what mood he's in after having met with his parent's as well as his uncle. Yes, it was best to talk when our minds are refreshed.

However my mind wasn't just focused on CJ and his demands but I couldn't stop thinking about what Sire admitted to me and the kiss we shared. In all honesty I've always seen Sire as just a friend. He was always there duiring my toughest time's and offered great advice. Never once didn't I get the feeling that he was into me. Sire never flirted with me or made any indication that he felt more than a friendship but that doesn't matter, none of it does. What matters is CJ and how he must never know what happened between Sire and I.

If he were to find out I can't imagine the trouble this would bring. He would definitely try to kill Sire but I'm not certain how that would end, both being trained killer's. Not only that I'm sure this could bring a rift in the family like they've never seen. What happened at Sires apartment must stay there never to be discussed again. I will take this secret to my grave to ensure Sire"s safety and this family's wellbeing.

While I sat in the lonely hall that led to the Den stewing in my thoughts I realized something that scared me. I relived the kiss we shared in my mind and was shocked at myself for allowing it to happen. Not once did I try to pull away or stop it. In fact I kissed him back with just as much want and I enjoyed it and this scares me. I'm not appalled as I should be by our actions so what does that say? Deep down could I really like Sire but I was so consumed with CJ that I didn't realize it? Or is my emotions playing on me because I'm extremely upset with CJ's behavior? Had Sire not came to his senses and broke the kiss I'm not sure how far we might have taken it.

Even though his word's pierced my heart I knew he was right. We must stay away from each other but now I find it hard when all I want to do is see him now. I must admit that I'm curious as to what this new feeling is and filled with wonder. Could Sire be the one for me?

I still feel love for CJ but I can honestly say that I'm not happy with him anymore. His controlling manner is wrecking any chance we have for a reconciliation. My only option is to try and make CJ see that his forcefulness  is pushing me away. If he doesn't listen and still insists we go through with this foolish wedding I don't know what I will do.

The next morning I woke before him and took a bath making sure not to disturb him. Slipping into a maxy dress and slippers I headed to the kitchen for a cup of coffee and a bite to eat. No sooner than I sat down at the table CJ emerged from his room wearing only pajama bottoms. With his hair still sleep rumpled he poured himself a cup of coffee. "Good morning" I offered up but only received a grunt in return.

Great. He's still in a mood but our talk couldn't be out off any longer. I decided to start off slow before delving in to the heart of the matter. "So how did the meeting with your parent's and uncle go?" I

Plopping down in the chair opposite of me he raked his hand through his hair. "It was shut on both ends. Mom is against this marriage. Claims we are moving to fast and heading toward disaster. My uncle was his dickhead self as usual. Basically I'm in probation. Another fuck up on my part and he will remove me from helping search for my grandparents murderer. So that's it in a nutshell" .

I nodded my head sympathetically. "I'm sorry that your uncle is giving you such grief. Hopefully he was just mad and blowing off steam. Maybe he'll change his mind."

CJ gave his trademark snicker. "You obviously haven't been around my uncle much. What he says he means".

I took a sip from my mug and decided to get it over with. "I think your mother is right though. Marriage isn't a good idea right now CJ."

CJ gave a sarcastic roll of his eye's. "I'm not backing down Alice. For you, them or anyone.  You will be my wife at the month's end."

Biting back my anger I spoke as calmly as I could. "What about my feelings CJ? Do you not care about how I feel?"

" of course I do Angel but right now I know best. It's natural for you to feel nervous ".

" nervous ". I hissed.

" CJ I'm not nervous. I'm being forced into a marriage that I'm not ready for. Open your fucking eye's and see what this is doing to me and will eventually do to us. If you truly cared about my well-being you would wait. You would allow us time to build a stronger relationship. Right now we can barely speak without lashing out. That's no way to enter a marriage, a marriage that's sure to be doomed before it even starts. Look at how unhappy I am because of your controlling ways. Remember what kind of mess I was when you met me because of some jackass treating me as you are treating me now. Do you really want me to compare you to him? "

CJ shot up from the chair and placed his mug in the sink rather loudly. Refusing to hear anymore he walked towards the kitchen exit. "In time you will adjust".

In the next second he disappeared and I let a slew of cuss word's pour from my mouth in frustration. I had to get out of this but how?

Thirty minutes later CJ returned freshly showered and dressed. "I've got to report to the Den. I should be in later this evening."

He placed his laptop in front of me. "In the meantime start planning our wedding. We haven't much time so make sure you find a dress and the important stuff today".

" you're fucking  kidding right? I refuse to go through with this". I said in a determined tone.

Ignoring my comment, he dug a credit card from his wallet and slapped it down on the table. "There's no limit so get whatever your heart desires. I'll look over it when I return".

He bent and placed a kiss to the top of my head and left ignoring my concerns all together. I shoved the laptop away and stood up disgusted. Within two hour's I had driven myself mad pacing up and down the hall's. I needed to get out, I needed to talk to someone but I had no one. The only person I had was Sire but he forbid to see me again. Well I didn't care. I had to get this off my chest and he was the only one I currently trusted. Walking out the door I made my way to his place. I knocked gently on the door and waited. After a long moment the door eased open and Sire stood there looking at me in a mixture of disdain and disbelief.