Double Down (a double standards series) Dark Romance (Part 7)

This Feeling

My heart was pounding as I raced to the back of the coffee shop. I couldn't face CJ right now, especially after Derick threatened to kill him. I must keep my distance from him to keep him safe and stop my beatings. I know he must be confused at my actions and think he did something wrong when in fact he'd did everything right. So right.

I wished I could get to know him better but I'm tangled up in Dericks wicked web. There's no way out for me. Even if I tried to leave Derick would hunt me down and I don't even want to think what he'd do to me or CJ for that matter. So yes, it's best if I just avoid CJ even if I don't want to. The night we chatted over the chocolate mint coffee he made me feel alive, special. He seemed really focused on me and I haven't felt that in a long time.

I know what Derick and I have isn't real. He keeps me because he can control me by using prison against me but what he don't understand is that I'm in prison everyday spent with him. I'm nothing more than his hidden punching bag and sex slave but I'm growing tired. Everyday I get a bit braver and I know eventually I'll try to escape and to hell with the consequences. Until then though, I must protect CJ by forgetting about him.

Several day's had passed and my sore body had healed and my bruises faded for the most part. CJ hasn't visited the coffee shop since and it makes me sad. For so many months I looked forward to seeing his gorgeous face and amazing eye's. Even before he spoke to me I had my eye on him. I'd get lost in silly day dreams wondering how it would be to kiss him, how it would feel to have his lips upon mine and be wrapped up in his arm's. But it was just wishful thinking. I could never be with CJ because I was a prisoner. Besides who's to say that he even wanted me anyways. Maybe he was just being nice to the poor, homely coffee shop girl.

It was a Saturday night and I had to close the shop up tonight. Luck was on my side when Derick told me he would be going out of town for a week in a business trip. I wasn't stupid though. I knew he whisked his newest girlfriend off to some tropical island but that didn't bother me. I could care less. As long as this other woman has his attention he isn't bothering me. What does bother is wondering why he doesn't treat me with respect and loving gestures as he does the other women. Is something wrong with me? Am I really that bad, too ugly? What? For once I'd love to know what it felt like to be truly loved, taken care of and made to feel special. With Derick he just beats me or uses me up then explains to me how it's my fault that he must treat me so brutal. You know the speech, this hurts me more than it hurts you, well that's his logic. I truly wonder what will become of me once he does decide to wed one of these women. Will he set me free or continue to hide me away for his twisted personal use? Yes, I am supposed to tell all men that we are engaged but that isn't the truth. That's just to kill any interest another man may have in me.

Giving the shop a second round to make sure all was well, I walked out and locked up. As I started my trek home the night sky opened up and rain started to pelt down. As I started to pick up my pace I felt an arm swing around my waist. With a squeal I craned my neck around to see who my attacker was. I looked up into a pair of green eye's and my heart slowed down as I realized it was CJ but he didn't look happy. In fact he seemed pissed. "Get in my car Alice" .

"What?" I asked confused.

He rolled his eye's. "It's raining. I'm going to take you home".

Before I could refuse he gripped my hand and pulled me along. Once he stuffed me in his car and buckled me up he ran around and got in. As he took off we remained silent. The only noise was the rain pattering on the car and the whirr of the windshield wipers. "What's up Alice?" He asked a bit hard.

" Nothing. I just got off work". I replied.

"Don't play with me Alice. You know exactly what I'm talking about" . He said sternly.