She was weak.
She was obedient.
She always listened.
Ava Mays was the good girl and she had the weakness of not being able to say no. She would always listen to her mother, she would do literally anything her mother asked of her.
Literally, Legitima...
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Ava's POV
My hand was shaking and it wouldn’t stop shaking. I shivered almost as if feeling a chill through the air after X’s letter.
I knew one thing though, I...I had to listen to X. It was the right thing to do if you actually thought about it. Thomas claimed to love me, and I wasn’t sure if I loved him or not. He deserved better than me, a confused and weak little girl. I would never fit this role.
I would never be the pretty and dainty little princess that everyone truly wanted. I wouldn’t ever be as close to as beautiful as Antoinette. I wouldn't be able to govern a kingdom. Maybe I would be able to love Thomas, that was easier. He was perfect, in a sense I had gotten to know him, and I realized as much as he wanted to seem, as if he was perfect. He wasn’t, truly no matter how hard anyone ever tires.
No one would ever be perfect, but Thomas was close to it as I’ve ever seen in a person. He had the biggest heart, I’d ever seen in a person. He wasn’t selfish, he cared about me, about his people...about his mother. He cared with his whole heart, I could see that and maybe that was why he was hurting so much right now.
But I admit it, I was selfish. Ever since I was a child, I had always been selfish. I cared about myself, I had learned by now if I didn’t care about myself no one else would. The world was a cold and bitter place, it was hard almost impossible to find those people who had a heart. A big heart. Someone who cared, someone who would try for others, someone who would put his people first.
But in the end I had found Thomas, he was pure. And I wasn’t, I wasn’t enough. I would never fit this role of a royal, even being here for only a couple of months. I had realized how hard it was, how hard it would always be. So truly no matter how much Thomas claimed to love me, no matter how much he claimed to need me. I knew, I would never be enough, he would get tired of me. He would move on.
It had happened before to me, I was broken. Thomas had tried to fix me, but once something is broken it’s always broken. I had learned that the hard way. And I knew Thomas would get tired of me, everyone got tired of me. No matter how nice I was, how I tried to always care for other, they never cared for me.
They just saw someone they could use and toss away. And I wasn’t saying Thomas was like this, maybe he did love me. But I would never be enough, I had acknowledged that by now.
So in the end X as crazy as they were, they were somewhere right along the line. They could see in my eyes, that I couldn’t do this, I was too weak. With these thoughts forever carved into my mind, I had decided to listen to X.
I felt someone’s hand under my chin he titled my head up to meet his and I met the ice cold blue eyes of Thomas. I forced a smile on my face, and immediately stuffed the letter into my pocket. “Are you okay Ava” he asked a concerned look on his face. I smiled through the tears that I wanted to cry. “I’m fine” I replied softly giving him a smile, he deserved better than me.
But he just pulled me into his arms and held me, I rested my head into the crook of his neck and breathed him and out. This would be the last time he would ever hold me, the last time he wouldn’t hate me. “It’s okay, everything's fine,” I could feel his hand stroke my hair softly as he held me.
“You have me and I have you” He softly mummered pulling away and dropping a quick kiss into my hair. “Stay here, I’ll get you something to drink, your eyes look redder than usual” He said, and started to leave but I grabbed his hand.
“Wait, I-I” don’t cry Ava, don’t cry, you’re stronger than that “I need to meet Eric, I promised him that I would” I didn’t want to leave Thomas though, I hadn’t even done anything yet and I could feel a heavy knot in my stomach. Anxiety, stress.
His smile slightly dimmed but he just grabbed my hand and giving me a cheeky grin placed a light kiss onto my hand and suddenly had a heavy British accent as he said “Till we meet again, my lady.”
Laughing, I swatted his hand away, and did a little crusty as I replied with a terrible accent “I shall long for that day, good sir.”
Smirking he blew me a kiss as I walked out the door of the room. Eric was probably in his room, I figured I had to talk to him about X, knocking on the expensive wood door. Opening the door, there was Eric looking different than I always saw him, it was probably because he was always dressed fancy expect for now.
He was just wearing sweats and a shirt. “Ava” he started to give me a smile, but that immediately dropped when he saw the look on my face. “I assume, your here to talk about X.”
Nodding, I stepped into his room, I was a bit dirty but what can you do. “How long have they been blackmailing you” I asked sitting in a chair across from him.
“It’s been a couple of weeks. What about you?” he asked.
“About a month” I replied and then we fell into a awkward silence.
“You want to do it now?” He questioned immediately making my eyebrows raise.
“I thought we had until tomorrow” I wasn’t ready just yet. But then again I don’t think I would ever be ready.
“I have to go to my cousin’s birthday party tomorrow but she lives five hours away, so today would be best” he said giving me a grim smile and scratching the back of his neck.
“I’m sorry about this Ava” He said softly giving me a pitiful look.
“I just have to kiss you right?” I asked, I really felt like crying.
“That should do it” he said nodding, and giving me another one of those looks. I was starting to hate that.
Standing up I brushed the dust of my skirt and said “Then let’s go.”
Author's note
I told you that I would update soon😊
Anywho I'm sorry I keep changing the cover. But like I'm never satisfied but I'll stop for now.
It's the same book though. Just a different cover.😥
Wellllll I might update soon or not I'm not exactly sure.
