I Hate That I Love You | Luke Brooks *UNDER EDITING*

Chapter Twelve

We sat there, in the corner of the library, in awkward silence. There was only one other pupil here in the library, her and the librarian. Nobody really comes to the library much. It's been about one minute now. "Look, you asked if we could talk, I said yeah and now you're not talking. Seriously. I have things to do". As I was getting up from the chair, ready to leave, he grabbed my hand. His hand was moist, very sweaty, he's probably nervous. "I'm sorry, I-I just dunno how to start yet. I might say something and it might come out wrong." He said. Wow, he actually looked really nervous. "You don't need to explain yourself to me you know" "But I do. I want to. I want you to forgive me." "Okay fine go ahead." "Promise you won't interrupt me, like even if whatever you hear sounds really shocking and bad. Just please promise not to interrupt until I finish." "I promise" "pinky promise" he said, pulling out his pinky. I giggled, remembering how me and him always use to pinky promise each other shit when we were little. "I pinky promise" I said, as our pinkies entwined, staring into his eyes. His eyes have always been so beautiful.

"Okay so as you know, since we started high school I've been hanging around with the wrong crowd and they kinda pressured me to do drugs and shit. I didn't want to do it but I wanted to fit in so badly. No one knew us in this school, remember back in our primary school(A/N: I dunno If anyone else calls it that but it's the school before high school) we always used to get picked on, I wanted to be popular for a change, know what It felt like for everybody to be scared of you. I didn't want to hate you but I didn't want you to be friends with a monster, I knew you would be caring too much so that's why I was distant from you, so if something bad happened to me I know you wouldn't care. I didn't want you worrying about me. So yeah... Erm anyways, when I first started with the drugs, they were just free samples of Aaron but then after the fifth time I asked for them they started asking for money. I was hooked on the shit. I had the money at first but then I was skint, so I did shit I wasn't proud of (A/N: no he didn't become a prostitute😂😂😂). But I was hooked onto the shit and the money I was getting wasn't enough. So I went to Be- Erm Bernie. I went to a guy called Bernie. He doesn't go to our school. Cool dude. Well not really. Anyways I told him I didn't have the money to pay him back, he laughed in my face and beat the shit out of me. I blacked out ad found myself in the hospital the next day. You remember that day don't you? Yeah, fun day. So whilst I was in the hospital, Be- Bernie came to visit when everyone went home. He told me I could make money by doing this wrestling thing. Where I would fight people and make money. I was scared to do it cause the people I would have been fighting were probably gonna be older and stronger than me. But I agreed to do it. I needed to pay him back. I went to the arena thing the next day where Bernie told me to meet him. The arena was packed. I got ready for my fight and they called me into the ring that's when I saw a little kid, he was about 9 or 10. I was thinking if this was just a sick joke or not. But then the bell rang and the kid came up to me. He looked scared as shit but he was still willing to fight me. Bernie started screening at me, yelling saying "don't fucking stand there, fucking punch him already" I could. I just couldn't. I mean why? How could someone do that, even think about it. I then looked at the next fighter on the other side if the room, they are just kids. The kid started hitting me and hitting me. And boy was he strong for a ten year old. I saw his dad screaming in the corner, shouting at him, saying how if he didn't win he would be beaten at home. I couldn't do that to him. Hell. I couldn't even beat him. He was a kid. I couldn't hurt a kid. So I let him hurt me. He punched and punched. He broke my nose. And I guess after a lot of blood off of me they game ended and I didn't lay one finger on the boy. Bernie just smiled at me. I thought he was cook with it. So after we drove home, but then he turned somewhere, into some abandoned car park. He stepped out of the car, walked over to my side, opened the door and told me to come out. So I undid my seatbelt and before I could even walk out, he grabbed my arm and chucked me on the floor and tied me to a pole with handcuffs. He yelled at me saying how I was going to get beaten and that next time he expects me to win. Or else I would get beaten again. Then, out of no where this car pulls up and these two guys come out with metal crossbars and baseball bats and they start beating me. I thought I was gonna die that night. So that's why I do it."

He looked up at me, his eyes were watery, he looked as if he was glad that he has let it all out. I then realised how long we have been looking at each other, not that long, but I could tell he was waiting for me to react. So I did. I hugged him. I could tell he was surprised about it but he soon began to relax and hugged back. His hugs are amazing. I haven't even been in his arms for so many years now...gosh I missed this.

LUKE P.O.V
Her hugs are amazing, if only I could be here all day. "Alex. I'm so sorry about everything. If I could go back and change time I would." I started crying now. I then continued. "I was just scared of losing you completely. I was scared that you would be there every second worrying about me. I knew I was going to be in and out of hospital a lot and I didn't want your pretty head worrying about it. I still care about you and never stopped. I was just-" I was interrupted. Her lips were on mine. I was in shock. What. I the. Realised how long I had been line this so I closed my eyes and I kissed her, I kissed her back. They were all these butterflies in my stomach. Her lips gave me tingles. This feeling was perfect. The best feeling I have felt in... Well in years. I didn't want it to stop but I knew it had to come to an end. She pulled away looking at the ground "erm I'm sorry" she said. I lifted up he head, staring deeply into her eyes, they were so beautiful, everything about her is just beautiful. She's my definition of perfect. "You have nothing to be sorry about." She smiled and raised her and towards my face and wiped away the tears. I missed her touch. Our foreheads were now touching, we carried on staring at each other in silence, not awkward silence but just peaceful silence, we were in our own world. As if it was just us two, me and her together, as if no one around us existed. "I missed you" she whispered. "No you didn't, you despised me Alex" I stood up read to walk away but she grabbed my hand turning me around. "Yes. Yes I did. Yes I did say I hated you. But I didn't mean it. Not one bit. Well deep down anyways. I made my self believe that I hated you. But I knew that I couldn't. I needed you" she entwined her hand with mine, her brown orbs just staring into mine. I hugged her. I never wanted to let her go again. We stood there for maybe five or ten minuets. But to me that hug only lasted a few seconds. We fit so perfectly together. It could just be me and her against the world. Our hug was then interrupted my the bell. "Well I'll see you later then" she walked off out of the library, walking to class. "I'll be waiting" I mumbled to myself.

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I really enjoyed writing this chapter. 💕❤️

I'm not gonna wait for the votes things no more cause its the summer holidays now and I feel like writing more and the votes are taking forever and ICBA with the crap. So expect more chapters💕

Also... THANKYOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR 1000 READS

I know loads if other people have like tonnes of reads but still I didn't think this book thing would go that far so thanks.

Oh yeah also did anyone like the pov change cause I'm not really a big fan on them but I thought it went but yeah

Next update will probs be this week. Its 4 am now so sleep for me. Or more fanfics. Lolz. So yeah. Goodnight. Or good morning. Or food afternoon and have a wonderful morning afternoon or night. Love yous💕❤️