Obsessed (A. Irwin Smut FF)

Chapter 19

Should I pretend I didn't hear him? What should I say? I was not ready to hear him ever say that. What is he think he's doing. Did he just say that because we've just fucked?

I smile not knowing how I should reply to that and he hugs me. "I'm sorry about that." He seems to regain consciousness and I chuckle. "But I usually say what I feel." He smiles and I frown m brows. "What about the no feelings involved deal ?" I ask and he shrugs. "I don't want you to think you're just a sex doll for me. I know I was a little demanding with you, regarding your schedule and everything, but it was not just sex for me." He speaks and I am left with no air.

"Well fuck you." I say mad getting my clothes on and he looks confused at me. "You just did." He winks and I roll my eyes. "Really Ashton? You're gonna play that card?" I ask pretty upset at this point. "You're right. I am sorry. What did I do wrong?" He asks and i open my eyes wide. "This. Telling me that." I speak and he sighs. "I didn't mean to hurt you with that. I don't want my feelings to hurt you in any way." He seems a little lost on planet Earth because I am furious with him.

"You know what? You're the most selfish person I ever met. Couldn't you just shut the fuck up?" I ask and he still doesn't understands where he went wrong. "Okay.. uhm, so you came here, you told me this is going to be the last time we ever do anything and then you decide it will be great to tell me your feelings. now?" I see he gets what I am saying and he sighs "Right, I didn't think about that. I tend to live more in the present than the future." He explains and I roll my eyes. "Yeah, that's what's wrong with you." I say taking my phone and heading for the door.

"Ok, wait a minute. You don't have to leave." He says grabbing my arm. "We had so much fun, can't you just stay here a little more. Please. Just stay with me a little more." God why can't I say no to him? admit it Y/n ... you love him too, or at least care a lot about him.

"I fucking hate you." I squeeze my eyes giving in to him. He chuckles pulling me towards him. "Good. Speaking of your feelings is great, isn't it?" He smiles and I laugh rolling my eyes. "Yeah, it's great actually." I smile letting him kiss me. "Okay, tell me, what else you think of me?" He asks and I chuckle. "Well for starters, you're crazy. You drive me crazy because I've never thought what had happened will ever happen. You're crazy for thinking you can get away with everything. You're way into living in the present for a person your age." I smile and he lights himself a cigarette. "I'm only that because of you. Ever since I walked on you while you were playing with yourself, I couldn't think of anything else. If I usually want something I will get it, and I knew I want you all to myself from the second I saw you laying in your bed. I realize it's wrong and I tried so bad to keep my thoughts to myself but you were playing mind games with me, flaunting your boyfriend in front of me like you wanted me to get you rid of him." I chuckle hearing him.

"Oh, so I should thank you, huh? You're my hero for getting me rid of him." I joke and he nods. "Yes, well honestly. You need a man who knows how to take care of you, not some college guy who barely knows what he needs." He smiles and I want to roll my eyes but somehow I am enjoying this way too much. "I am not that high maintenance, you know?" I say and he nods. "I was not talking about the way of living. I was talking about your sexual needs. You still have a lot to learn about yourself." He tells me and I nod. "You think you know me so well." I sigh smiling. "I hate this about you." He furrows his brows and seems lost in my words. "You keep telling me things like you know what I feel and you keep telling me to live in the present like it's all I've got, but you should know better, life is not only about the now." I say and he shakes his head. "You couldn't be more wrong. I've always lived in the present, because it is actually the only thing we have. I mean I could worry about the future, but what good would that do to me? I cross that bridge when i come to it. I could worry about the past, but I can't change it, so the only thing left is to make sure I live my life at the fullest. Enjoy every little thing so that I won't regret my past. Honestly I see life as a series of choices that lead to other choices and why should I be worried about the choices I will have to make in the future when I can worry about the choices I make now. Like this.." He leans in and kisses me. "I want to kiss you, and I do it. I don't care if I am not allowed to spend time with you in the future if right now you're next to me and I am happy. You should know. Happiness is a moment, a short moment. Too many people think for the future, they think that if they get that job, marry that girl,own that car, that house, they will finally be happy, but to me, happiness is not a destination. And if you could only see it like I do, I guarantee you'll find more happy moments." He smiles and I just look at him really impressed because it does make sense. Everything he says makes sense, but what he doesn't understand is that I love this moment. This exact moment. Being in the same room as him. I love it and I can't help but want more of this. I want more and knowing we can't have it kills me inside.