Chapter Eighteen: Five-Fire Scale

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I woke up before Annie – light was already breaking through the window.

I smiled as I watched her sleep. I wanted to wake her up and bother her, but I knew neither of us had slept very well the past few days. It was only fair to let her sleep in a bit. I'd give her some time, especially considering we were getting a break from the gym and traveling to a new location later.

I kissed her cheek, causing her to stir a little, and then went to grab our phones.

I was doing a bad job of staying in touch with people these past few days, so now was as good of a time as any to get caught up.

I crawled back into bed and opened my texts. The most recent message was unsurprisingly from my mom.

Mom: Hey, sweetie.

Mom: I hope everything is going well. Miss you and love you.

I quickly responded, "Miss you and love you too. Everything is great. Be back in CA before you know it."

That should satisfy her for a bit.

My next text was from "Jennifer Atlanta."

Text: Hey, boy. I'm going to be in Los Angeles around your birthday. I'd love to see you and continue our fun in Malibu . . ."

I had a vague memory of "Jennifer Atlanta" that ended in my hotel room. The best plan of action was probably just not to touch it. Delete. Contact removed.

I looked over at Annie who was still sound asleep. "I should probably do a sweep of my contacts and get rid of Maria Philly and Angela Kansas City and God knows who else is in here." When was the last time I cared this much about hiding my indiscretions? Goddamnit, Annie, you're not even mine, and you're already domesticating me.

I opened a group conversation between me, my brother, and a few of my grade school buddies.

Tyler: When Christian gets back, we need to start planning his bday party.

Collin: Vegas?

Tyler: Probably. Christian, you dead?

Cameron: I blame ghoooooooooosts.

Tyler: Probably out slaaaaaaaying the laaaaaaadies of the UK.

Collin: If he wasn't a pro baller, how many women do you think he'd be able to hook up with? Same amount? Way less?

Cameron: None. Zero. The only swagger he has comes from baseball.

Tyler: Maybe two. Just two drunken mistakes. He looks sort of like a mix between a turkey and a noodle.

Collin: A toodle? A turkoodle? A noodkey?

"You're all not invited to my birthday party. I was going to take you assholes to Hawaii with me, but change of plans." Sent.

Cameron: My bro lives.

Tyler: The legend.

Collin: We're at a pretty lame club. You're not missing out . . . Hawaii is nice in winter. 😉

Part of me wanted to tell them all about Annie, but the logical part of my brain told me it was probably a bad idea. I settled on, "England has been pretty good to me so far."

Cameron: Details.

Tyler: Deets.

Collin: Tails.

I laughed before replying, "Met a girl. She's great."

Cameron: Laaaaaaaaame.

Tyler: Be safe. Get a prenup.

Collin: How hot is she?

"🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥."

Cameron: Five fires!

Tyler: What's the scale here? If it's a ten-fire scale, she's not doing that well.

Collin: I'm guessing five-fire scale.

"You guys are the only reason people don't think I'm an idiot. You put things into context for them."

Cameron: I mean, do you actually like this girl? Or is she great as in hookup great? You have a long list, after all. What's one more?

Tyler: Yeah, are you bringing this one home to meet your dude friends? Will she meet Momma Yelich?

Collin: Deep down, I'm intrigued.

"I think you're all going to like her a lot."

Cameron: He's gone.

Tyler: Completely whipped.

Collin: Does she have a friend?

That was enough of this conversation. "Gotta go, guys."

Cameron: He's in love.

Tyler: Bye forever, Christian. You've been a good true bro for twenty years.

Collin: Send us a picture.

I put my phone down and attempted to relax into bed, but the sound of Annie's voice got my attention. "Good morning."

My smile was so obnoxiously big upon hearing her voice that I wanted to punch myself in the face. "Good morning, babe."

"Babe?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Babycakes? Honey? Honeymuffin? Lovebiscuit? Which one do you want?"

"Annie is pretty good," she said, her eyes sparkling a bit when she looked at me. "Thanks for not waking me up at 4:00 am. I was feeling pretty sleep deprived."

"You looked really peaceful. I couldn't disrupt that, even for some sweet lovin'."

"Well, I appreciate it, dork."

"But sleep time is over now, so . . ." I moved right next to her and pulled her against me before kissing her gently. "Let's have some fun," I finished my thought.

She just rolled her eyes before climbing on top of me. "Let's."

She really might be the death of me.

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