Ghosts (A Christian Yelich Story)

Chapter One Hundred Sixteen: Anxiety

I woke up panicked and covered in a layer of sweat. "Fuck," I muttered to myself, as I kicked off the covers and sat up in bed. I took a few deep breaths before reaching over and turning on the lamp on my nightstand.

"It was just a dream," I assured myself, even though it all felt very real.

"Christian?" I heard her whisper, and I felt immediately more at ease knowing that she was still next to me. "Are you okay?"

I lied back down and met her gaze. She rested a hand comfortingly on my bare stomach.

"Yeah. Just a . . . Nightmare."

She looked at me with concern in her bright green eyes. "Another one?"

"Yeah. Same thing . . . I cheat on you and lose you and Lo forever. It feels real. I'm so glad you're still here." I covered her hand with mine, and she nuzzled her body against my side.

"Ever since we landed in Australia, have you had a single night without one of these dreams?"

I sighed and ran my free hand through my sweat-drenched hair. "I don't think so."

"Maybe it's time to see a doctor? You seem so anxious and on edge, and you never sleep well any more. I'm worried."

"What could a doctor really do?" I asked her — genuinely curious what her thoughts were.

"Medicine?" she asked hesitantly.

"I hate that idea, but I get how it might help."

"Do you want to go back to California with Andrew and Lo while I finish up filming? Maybe the stress of losing in the postseason and having to come here almost immediately after was just too much to handle. I'm so sorry, baby. I think this is on me."

I couldn't help but chuckle at her sweet suggestion. "This is the only place I want to be — with my two ladies. You sacrificed everything to move to Milwaukee and have my baby, so I can spend a little time with you in this beautiful city while you do your work. I'll get past this."

She kissed my bare shoulder. "I just don't want you to feel trapped or like you're unable to do the stuff you need to before your season starts. I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to make you feel worse."

"Annie, baby, we're a family. We're meant to be together. I'm doing the same stuff here that I'd be doing at home — eating clean and spending a few hours at the gym daily. I'll see a doctor, but there's no way in hell I'm leaving you for six full weeks. Honestly, that would only make things harder and the dreams more vivid. At least when I lose you in my dreams, you're right here next to me when I wake up."

Annie kissed my lips. "So doctor?"

"Yeah, I'll set something up." I had to do something. This wasn't normal. I hadn't had nightmares since elementary school.

"Do you want to take a shower with me? It might help you relax before trying to sleep again." She jokingly wiggled her eyebrows at me.

"A shower with the most beautiful woman in the world at midnight? There's nothing I want more." I pulled her in for a kiss this time.

"Always such a sweet talker," she muttered as we broke apart. She got out of bed, and I followed her into our master bathroom.

"I love you so much," I whispered into her ear before helping her undress.

"Take your boxers off, dork," she replied with a smile before she turned on the water to heat it up before we stepped in.

"Fine, fine," I responded in fake annoyance.

My life was so close to perfect. All I needed to do was shake the constant thought I had . . . That I was going to lose her some how.

That I was going to fuck everything up.