Ghosts (A Christian Yelich Story)

Chapter Sixty-Seven: Impossible

Whose side are you on?

***

Was he joking? Was I supposed to laugh? I had no idea how to respond, so I completely froze up. Maybe he'd take it back. I hoped he'd take it back.

"Baby, come on, be my wife." He grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. "I love you both. I can make the two of you so happy." I guess taking it back wasn't in the cards.

I knew I couldn't leave. I had just promised him I wouldn't run. I'd have to be honest, even if it was difficult for me. Assertiveness wasn't my strong suit, shockingly enough.

I removed myself from his semi-hard cock and sighed before getting up to put my clothes back on. He watched me intensely as I did so, waiting for me to speak. "First of all, did you honestly think it was a good idea to ask me to marry you while your dick was buried inside of me? What douchebag playbook is that out of?" I asked him as I threw my shirt on.

Christian chewed on his lip nervously. "In hindsight, maybe not the best idea, but I meant it. I want to get married."

After pulling myself together, I sat down next to him. "Why?" I asked with a raised brow.

"I love you. I love baby Yeli. I want us to be a family."

"We can be a family without getting hitched after five months of knowing one another like a couple of hormonal, irrational teen parents."

"It would look better if we were married," he said firmly.

"Look better to whom?"

"My fans, your fans, my family, your family, the Brewers organization . . ."

I cut him off. "Fuck the optics. None of those people get to decide that our relationship is more valuable because we're married." The fact he cared so much about a piece of paper was starting to frustrate me.

"How about we should get married because I want to marry you? I want to be your husband." His eyes challenged me to reason my way out of what he just said.

"I can't, Christian. This is already complicated enough. We don't need an additional legal layer of difficulty right now."

"So it's that easy for you, huh? There's no way to change your mind. You're set."

"Christian, stop. We have so much to figure out right now. We have to figure out how we're going to make this work. I don't want to throw getting married into the mix of obstacles."

"We'll make a commitment."

"We're already committed." I tried to put my hand on his, but he shooed it away. "Don't be like this."

"Be like what?"

"Childish," I muttered.

"I'm putting my heart on the line."

"You're only in this mindset because you just came in me. You'll feel differently in the morning."

Christian rolled his eyes. "I love you. I want to get married before the baby is born. That's that."

"I love you too. I want to wait. Let's talk about it after she's born — after a few months of parenting together. Please."

Christian sighed. "I wish you felt as deeply about me as I do about you."

"Christian, you can't say that. Just because I don't want to get married tomorrow, because that's a crazy thing to do, doesn't mean I'm not insanely in love with you. You're my person. Please give me some time."

Christian shook his head in clear disappointment. "I'm going to bed. We'll talk about this in the morning."

"Should I sleep on the couch?" I asked quietly. I actually really wanted to be close to him. I just didn't want us to make a big mistake. And I didn't want to think about marriage right now. I just experienced a painful, public failed engagement. I didn't want to go through that again, but I wasn't in the mood to bring Asher into an already emotionally charged conversation. Christian wouldn't handle it well.

Christian locked eyes with me and gave me an attempt at a smile. "No. Let's go to bed. I love you. I'm going to change your mind."

Impossible.