why don't we imagines

Memories/Jonah

His smile.
His laugh
Everything coming back. From when I loved him to when I tried to stop. I'm sitting in the dark, on my bed. I hate this. I can't get up off my bed. Stuck with my thoughts.
I cried
He comforted
Everything, I miss....everything. Things change now. We are in a different school. No longer middle but now high school. I miss it.
His hugs
His kindness
But it's ok, everything changes for a reason. I loved him and I still do. I closed my eyes and tried to push away the thought of him but it was no use. Everything is coming back. When we met in fourth grade and now to eighth grade. High school is gonna be tough without him.
Y-KILL THE SPIDER NOWWWWW
The memory of a spider crawling down from the ceiling as we talk. He flashes a bright smile but doesn't kill it instead he puts it in the bush. Everything's spiraling, everything's going to change and I don't want that.
He knows my hurt
He knows my pain
I tell him everything just to make him stay. What makes me not ok to what I'm happy about. He gives me advice. I consider it but I don't use it. Instead of me killing myself already I think about him telling me 'Don't do it' his words repeat my mind but i can't hold it in anymore. I wanted to cry everyday but I don't want to worry him so I suck it in and be happy for him. For him. Now it sucks that we can barely speak to each other. My heart hurts from the pain and i just want to drown my sorrow away, cry my heart out and just let it be .
Y-I'm going to kill myself
I say repeatedly I hold the gun up to my head, his words are spiraling through my head.
Y-I'm sorry
I pull the trigger and then the next thing I know I'm dead