Secret Deception (Jonathan Black's Love Story)

Chapter 34: You Didn't Want Me

"You can't be serious, Alexia. You can't seriously want to have a conversation with her." Derek exclaimed.
"She's an international terrorist!"
"And I'm the Director of the FBI. If not me then who?" I shot back walking passed him back into the bullpen.
"Anyone else, Alexia! You're emotional and compromised."
"Compromised? I am not compromised." I practically screamed at him.
"I'm not letting you go down there." He challenged standing in my way.
"This is not your decision and if you believe for one moment that anyone in this building is going to let you touch me you are in for a shock." I hissed.
By now a crowd had gathered watching our stand off. Derek glared at me for a decent amount of time before backing off.
"This is a mistake, Alexia!" He called after me.
"Thank you for your input. I'll take it from here." I called back as the elevator doors closed.
My counterterrorism offices are on the basement level of the building. I'd already instructed Bri to have Jasmine waiting for me in an interrogation room.
"Do you want me to stay and keep an eye on you?" Bri asked noticing my anxiety.
"No, Bri. That's alright. Just give us some time. I need to give her a chance to explain this to me."
She nodded and rubbed my back supportively.
After another moment I pushed the door open and found my half sister sitting in one of the chairs.
"Jasmine Crystal Dorian." I said tossing a file on the table between us.
"That's impressive." She said not looking at it.
"Two brothers. Lucas Eric Dorian and Skyler Wyatt Dorian. Skyler seems to be doing well for himself. Wife, Amanda. Two kids.
"Lucas on the other hand. Started with petty crimes, theft, minor in possession, moving up to drug possession, disorderly conduct, assault.
"Then of course there's you... to until about five years ago you were completely clean. Had a boyfriend also with no record. You have a degree in political science and public health."
She turned her head away from me, not looking at me.
"What happened five years ago that changed things for you?" I asked trying a gentler approach.
"You wouldn't understand." She spat at me.
"Try me."
Her head snapped around towards me.
"How could you possibly understand? You've never had to work for a thing a day in your life. Sure, dad was a serial killer but your mother gave you everything. Our father left our mother for yours. Left us with nothing." She yelled.
Brianna opened the door and poked her head in.
"Is everything alright?"
"Everything's fine, Bri. Thank you."
Once she left I returned my attention to my sister.
"Maybe he did but nothing else in that statement was true. Sure, she left me money but she died giving birth to me. I never met her. Our father was a lot more than a serial killer. He was an abuser who got his kicks killing women and beating the shit out of his daughter. I don't remember a day in the first eight years of my life that I wasn't starving and being beaten for things I didn't know I was doing wrong. I have worked for everything I have now; whether it being working to survive my childhood or working to be respected in this field."
I sighed looking at her again.
"Go ahead. Open the file." I nudged it closer to her.
She flipped the file open. Inside she found not her file but my own.
"What is this?" She asked flicking though the pictures of my eight year old body and my x-rays as well.
"That's how our father left me 18 years ago when he was arrested for serial murder, child abuse and child neglect...
"Did your mother show you love?" I asked quietly.
"Yes. She did."
"In many ways your life has been better than mine then."
I tried to fight back my tears.
"When did you discover that we're related?" I asked almost silently.
"When they televised your appointment to director. Our mother was really sick but when your face popped up on the screen she started screaming that you were the product of our father's second marriage. I thought she was crazy at first but when she died I found a letter from our father announcing your mother's pregnancy."
"That's a low blow." I muttered and she smiled sadly at me.
"Why didn't you come to me?" I asked shaking my head.
"I did. You said didn't want me!"
"I don't know what you're talking about. I just found out about you last week."
"I came to the FBI offices and was talking to the front desk receptionist about getting a meeting with you when a big African American guy came up behind me and told me I was wasting my time and that you didn't want me."
"I know exactly who you're talking about and he and I are going to have a very serious conversation. You started with petty crimes too. Vandalism? Why?"
"I was angry. I'd just lost my mother and discovered that I had a sister and you wanted nothing to do with me. My brother's hadn't been around for a while. Luke was too busy getting high to help with mom and Sky had his own family to take care of. Christian wasn't any help at all. That's when we broke up. He said I was too needy and demanding."
"Let me tell you something. One very important thing. Derek Morgan does not now, nor has he ever spoken for me. He never told me about your visit and I never told him I didn't want anything to do with you." I said firmly.
She started crying.
"It was never about your money either. I just needed support. I lost her house not long after she died and I ended up homeless. Every time I saw a television I saw your face. At a fancy fundraiser or on an interview for whatever charity you supported and I got so angry that you wouldn't support your own sister.
"I started following you when I could. That's how I found out about Jonathan. I knew it was him in New York and I wanted you to hurt the way I was hurting. If I had known that that man didn't even tell you about me I never would have done it. I never wanted to hurt anyone. Everything hurt so bad and I got so caught up in getting back at you I decided I didn't care.
"I visited dad in prison before the fundraiser. He told me that it would be best to just get you out of the way. Eventually he convinced me to help him break out of prison and take him to your house and I did. I didn't know he'd hurt you so badly and I was so sure that all of the pain I'd experienced since mom died that I didn't care if you died in the water tank.
"After we realized the map was a fake, dad said that we needed to make a statement. He made the plan to set off the bomb in Seattle, he sent Luke to kill those firefighters in Chelan. I didn't even know until after the fact that he'd sent people to Fircrest and Jefferson to kill people. He was starting to scare me. I sent him after you in Italy so I could plan to let you catch me. He never came back. I don't know where he went." She told me everything and I believed her.
"I killed him." I said simply.
"He wanted to kill me and I shot him in the head."
"Good." She said.
"He'd convinced me for 12 years that he wasn't the monster they said he was. That he was innocent and that he wanted the same things I did but to be completely honest, Director Carter, I don't even know what I wanted."
"Alexia is fine."
"I'm so sorry, Alexia. I want so badly to make it right again but I know I can't."
I reached across to take her hand.
"I don't know if there's anything that I can do but I'm willing to try. I'm a very good judge of character, Jasmine, and I believe you. Give me some time to talk to Jonathan and Cameron and I'll try to pull some strings. I understand anger and I understand pain. I'll order a psychological examination and go off that."
"Okay, Alexia. I really am sorry."
"I know. I know."