all over again ✰ kendall knight!

THIRTY EIGHT

a s h l e e

AFTER SHARING A PIZZA WITH KENDALL, 

we went our separate ways, and i stayed down st our spot. So here i am, sitting on a chair with my song book in hand, trying to figure out what i wanted to write lyric wise for this song.

dear john was all i had written on the page, and it was bugging me that i couldnt figure out what i wanted to write.

he had given me the 'my little sisters crazy hold up a sec' thing, but i knew katie well, and i knew something was up.

he had come back, and started questioning me on what i've done in LA, and if i had a boyfriend.

and of course, me being me.

i tensed up.

i told him i met some of the dodger players, and gone to a few restaurants, but no boyfriend.

of course, the media had been speculating that we had dated, but the only people who really knew were peyton, camille and a few others

"Do you have any intentions on telling Kendall about John?"my head snaps up, where i find Abby standing there, and i shush her Loudly.

"No i don't abby, I don't wanna be looked at differently, and for him to treat me like a porcelain doll."I explain, and she nods, sitting down next to me.

"you should tell him though, from what i've heard, John's got a new girl, a costar on whatever show he's on now. He won't say shit."Abby explains and i nod, holding my face.

"I'm just afr—"I'm cut off by being thrown over somebody's shoulders, and i get a good look at Kendall's ass, and Abby's face, with her eyes wide.

he places me down, and i find katie behind me, sipping a smoothie, as kendall faces me, "You Lied!"

"About what?!"I throw my hands up, as kendall pulls out a paper, with an old photo of John and i kissing, and i freeze up.

"This!"he snaps the paper, and i finally regain control of my body and shake my head at the photo.

"where did you get that?"i asked, feeling everything close in around me.

"it was everywhere ash!"he exclaimed, "i thougth we agreeded not to lie to each other anymore!"

"i never lied!"i yelled, snapping back, "i had no clue how to tell you!"

"why didnt you tell me in the first place?!"he threw his arms up, and i looked at the ground.

"Maybe i don't wanna remember that relationship kendall, that's why i said it did have a boyfriend."I trail off a bit as a screaming match between John and i flashes through my mind.

"That doesn't mean you had to lie!"Kendall snaps, and i wince.

"Maybe i didn't wanna be treated differently! because knowing you four i'd be treated like a proclin doll!"I hiss, as the two of us get closer, and closer.

"Who said we'd treat you differently?! Because Frankly, I've known you for 15 Damn years Ashlee! and i haven't treated you differently once!"He stresses out, as the two of our chest rise and fall rapidly.

"This isn't right! because i know you have Kendall! you just don't see it! I'm leaving."I walk away, when i hear him yell after me, "I'm leaving too!"

abby hands me as apologetic look, and i just shake my head, before heading to my apartment, and i start to get the song started.

why did it ever have to come to this.

♕

"SO THATS IT?"

"we're not going to even talk about this?"Kendall's voice walks onto my porch, and i shrug, strumming my guitar, "Figured you didn't wanna talk"

"of course i wanna talk ash, i wanna know what he did that made you want to forget about the relationship."He sits down next to me, and i look up at him, "You really wanna know what he did?"

he nods, his green eyes meeting my blue ones, "Please."

"I remember every little thing."my voice broke, before i cleared it.

"i was new in hollywood, and he was one of the first people i had let in."i started, continuing to strum my guitar, "i let him in and i shouldn't have."

"i saw the red flags, and i ignored them,"i coninued, "he always said he was sorry after every fight, after everything but he wasnt."

"i dont ever want to go through that again."