Stolen to be His Princess

Chapter 35: Losing hope

Isabella

I'd never had suicidal thoughts before. There were too many people I loved and I couldn't leave them. There was too much to live for. From a young age I had planned my future out, get a job as a Play therapist, buy a small house, have 2 dogs, get married and have 3 children. This was my dream, my goal. But oh how far I am from achieving that dream. I laid there on the bed still, broken and lifeless looking out at Chase and James who were bound up on chairs. I stared at each of them intensely sparking up different thoughts and emotions for each of them.

I gazed at Chase who was fighting against the tight rope wrapped around his body like a animal. The rope wasn't even budging, but it didn't stop him. He shouted and swore until he started going red in the face. I'd never seen him so angry and as much as I knew his anger wasn't directed at me, it scared me. Chase. The man who I grew to care about. The man who took me away from my nightmares. The man I want to be with. I thought once I'd left James it would be over. How wrong was I.

But for some reason I looked away from Chase and glanced at James. As much as I hate him with a passion a strange sensation took over my body momentarily and for the first time I felt something other than hatred towards him. I felt hurt. From the very beginning he was powerful, dominant, forceful, cruel and manipulative, but there he was tied up to the chair looking like a broken man. He looked as though he'd lost everything. The powerful man that I knew now looked like he'd been stripped of every ounce of love and happiness. He had fought against the men and rope ever since he stumbled into the room, but now he was simply still. The James I used to know would never cry or show weakness, but James was tied up on the chair pouring out his emotions. He was silently crying whilst staring into my own eyes. Tears were pouring down his cheeks unable to contain them and stop showing weakness. My heart hurt seeing the powerful and dominant man who was now broken into pieces crumbling every second. James has done some awful things to me and ruined my life, yet I couldn't help but pity him. Maybe it's Stockholm syndrome, but a part of me wants to run to him and hug him. Seeing him crying made me forget about all the bad things that he caused and put me through. I wanted to comfort him. From a young age my mother had always told me to forgive people no matter what they do. Thinking about my mother I fall out of reality and crash into my thoughts thinking back to one of the many life lessons she taught me.

"Mummy. What if someone does something so terrible like steals one of your chocolates or pours salt into your tea instead of sugar?"

Her melodic laugh echoed around the warm house filled with love and happiness.

"Well when it comes to chocolate, I'd struggle to forgive them, but in the end I would. Everyone deserves forgiveness".

"Ok. But would you forgive someone if they hurt me?" I asked tapping my finger against my cheek with a curious expression on my face.

"Baby. If something happened to you, I'd be devastated. I would seek justice, but in the long run I'd forgive them. It would take a long time, but I would be at peace after forgiving them. Forgiving someone helps you to let go of  the internal pain". I stared up at my mother in awe. She was my idol. So courageous and kind. She could light up a room with a single smile.

Her many life lessons stuck with, especially the lesson on forgiveness. Little did I know that I would need to use it.

Headline: Couple driving back from an anniversary meal killed by an intoxicated driver leaving behind their 12 year old daughter.

That was the day my world had stopped spinning. The day my universe came crashing down. The two people I loved more than anything were gone, ruthlessly taken by one man's selfish and careless "mistake". I still remember the knock on the door and the heartbreaking news of my parent's death. Everything went downhill. My education, my social life, my health and well-being. I had lost everything. But during my grieving and sleepless nights I still heard my parent's voices whispering words of encouragement and support. Soon after I was called to appear in court and faced the man who took my life away from me. I watched from the sideline as the judge made the verdict and stated his prison sentence. He was going to be locked up for a long time. Just as the court session had ended I heard my mother's voice in my head reminding me of her words that she had told me a while back. I ran past the guards and reached the man convicted of killing my parents. Just as I went to touch his shoulder guards held me back.