Friends?

21

"What!" Cleo asks alarmed.

I was telling her about being able to see the baby bump but she got very shocked.

"I thought Jahseh said you miscarried," she said confused.

"I miscarried one baby, I was supposed to have twins but I miscarried one and now I'm just having one baby," I explain.

"Well Jahseh thinks you don't have a baby right now," she says.

"Oh," I say not knowing what to do.

"I should tell hi-"

"No! I mean, no." I say not meaning to yell. "Everything is just now starting for him and I don't want him to have to worry about a baby. Besides, I can do this myself," I say but I don't mean it, I really just want Jah to be in the baby's life but I'd rather not have to go through him saying he doesn't want the baby.

"I don't agree with your choice but I'll respect it just please tell him at sometime," she says.

"When are you due?" She asks.

"Well now I'm down to about exactly 5 months from today," I reply.

"Are you gonna tell him about the baby before the birth," she asks.

"I don't know, I don't know what I'm gonna do for a lot of stuff concerning the baby," I say.

"I can help you, I'll help you with going to appointments when you can't drive, I'll help you with shopping, I'll help you with anything and all you need to do is ask. I love you like a daughter Rose, I'll be here if you need me," she says lovingly.

"Thanweeksk you so much Cleo," I say thankfully.

"No problem honey, bye," she says ending the call.

"Bye," I say.

I know I will never build up the strength to tell him. How can I?

It's been about a two weeks since I left Jahseh and me and Cleo have been talking almost everything day. I haven't tried to contact him again and he hasn't tried to talk to me so I'm just trying to figure out how I'm gonna get my shit together on my own. I don't know how I'm gonna support myself and a baby especially since I'm only 18. Ski said he could find me a job but shit ain't work out so far.

  I open Instagram and scroll through all of the comments on my latest post and get an idea. I could be a youtuber. I already have a pretty big following of 350,000 followers on insta and I could make a little bit of money on YouTube if I get at least half of the people that follow me to watch and subscribe and shit and then I could have a small job on the side.

  I immediately start making a channel and I post about it on insta. Now just leaves the part of making an actual video. Who the fuck am I kidding, nobody gonna like the shit I make. But I guess I just gotta try.

'What should my first video be on YouTube??" I tweet.

I instantly get hundreds of comments saying stuff like "q&a" or "bestfriend tag".

The bestfriend tag wins in the comments so I call up August who is busy so I call Draymond.

   "Guess what," I say happily making him sigh.

   "This about to be a whole ass piece of bullshit that I'm not gonna be able to get out of isn't it?" He says already knowing what the fuck is up.

  "Yup, so you're gonna come over and we gonna do a YouTube video," I say.

  "Do I have a choice?" He asks.

  "Nope," I respond.

  "Mmk, see you in 10," He says and I can practically hear him roll his eyes through the phone.