The Mafia's Nanny

Chapter 43

Eva

My head was spinning as I opened my eyes.

The light coming from outside burned my orbs. The chattering coming from within the Estate was blocked out by my tiredness. Ever since I had arrived back at the Estate — which was almost two weeks — I had spent most of my days in my bedroom except from the usual time I cared for Arianna and Giovanni with Leah.

My purpose was gone in my eyes.

Alessandro was no longer around and I could feel myself withering away with every day that passed by. My strength was slowly weakening without his presence.

I'd been frozen in time completely. It was almost as if the days just passed me by — some painfully slow and others as if they were never there in the first place.

I'd sobbed for hours; my tears wouldn't come anymore. I'd wasted my time inside my bedroom — the bedroom I shared with him — his scent remaining on the bedsheets. Each night I slept, I pretended he was laying next to me.

Cried myself to sleep when the realisation slapped me over and over again, that I was alone.

The image of his face kept surfacing in my head.

Come back to me.

Don't go.

Come back to me.

Don't go.

I wanted to scream for him but I knew that I was screaming for nothing. Into an empty void that would only shatter my heart even more. As I turned over in the large bed — I looked up at the ceiling and thought about my life from that moment on. The plans that would be wasted; the people that would mean nothing compared to Alessandro; the places that I'll turn away from simply because I can't travel with my love.

My life was just an empty space of shattered pieces.

No meaning or purpose. No path or happy destination. I was just waiting until the day that I finally took my last breath...

"Eva?"

A small voice echoed into the bedroom and I immediately sat up and looked towards the frame of the door.

Arianna stood there with an innocent look on her face. My heart throbbed at the sight of her. "Hey baby," I croaked with my arms reaching out for her.

She walked over and climbed into the bed with me, snuggling into my chest as I lifted the covers over our bodies. For a few moments — we just lay there in silence. Her tiny body moulded against mine and our heavy breathing mixed together.

"You weren't at breakfast again today." Arianna spoke with a questioning tone.

We hadn't properly told her that Alessandro was never coming back. Even the thought of breaking her heart made my own want to explode with emotion. My sweet angel didn't deserve to feel the pain and agony that I felt when I lost my mother. I wanted to prolong her innocence for as long as possible.

"I'm still not feeling very well," I told her with my lips pressed against her head.

Her face moved into sight as her head tilted upwards to meet my eyes. "It's been almost two weeks that you've been sick. Shouldn't you see a doctor?"

I shook my head. "I'll be okay."

Arianna still held the concerned look on her face. Her body shuffled from my hold and swerved until she was facing me — sat on the covers with her hands bundled on her lap. "Daddy would make you feel better if he was here."