My hero.

I loved her.

I was waiting for news outside, I can't believe my mom is almost dying. I know sometimes I say I hate her, but she's my mom, she give me a life, she was the sweetest mom ever. When my dad died, my mom changed, I don't know why but she changed, she was so in love with my dad just like my dad was in love with her, unfortunately he died and now my mom is dying. Fucking great.

It's been 2 hrs, 2 fucking hrs here waiting news, I can't take this anymore, I want to know how is she. I remember when I was a little girl, I had an accident and I broke my arm, my mom was crying like crazy because I told her I was in so much pain, she was so worried just like my dad, she then told me that she will always be here for me, no matter what. After that, we went to eat some pizza and ice cream, we had a family night, was so funny and amazing. Now I'm here crying, waiting for my mom.

"How is she?" Ms.Estela asked and I sigh. "We don't know yet."

"Lauren Lopez?" I stood up and felt worried. "How's my mom?" She sigh. "I'm so sorry Brittany." I shook my head.

"No...she can't be dead...she's not..." The doctor sigh. "I'm really sorry Brittany, you can say food bye if you want to." She left and I fall in my knees. My mom. My mom is gone. She's dead.

"Brittany?" I hugged Hailey and cried in her arms. "My mom! She can't be dead!" She rub my back and whisper sweet things in my ear.

I closed the door and look at my mom, laying that stupid bed. I wanted to forgive her, I know she didn't meant it, I smelled alcohol in her. I grab her hand and kiss the back of her hand, I smile a little. I remember that when I was a little girl, every time that I cried, she sat down in my bed, grab my hand, play with my hair an sing, she always had a smile in her face, she always looked at me with so much love, I loved the way she looked at me. I already miss her.

"Hey mommy. I'm Brittany, your daughter. I don't know what to say mommy, this is our last day together...well...you can't talk but...I know you hear me, you are now with God and he will take care of you, always. I know he will because, since I was a kid, I begged to him that I wanted him to take care of you like you begged him to take are of me. I miss you mommy, I know the past years we haven't been the same because...we both miss dad, he loved you and I know you loved him, we were the perfect family and now? You both are dead, why? I don't know, but I love you too mommy, always remember that, I will always love you, I will love you unconditionally" I had tears in my eyes and I kissed her forehead "Goodbye mommy." I felt hands in my shoulders and I look at Ms.Estela, I hugged her and I cry. It's the only thing I want to do.

I closed the door if my room and cry. I can't believe this happend, that stupid asshole killed my mom, thank god he's in jail now. Asshole. He loved to hurt me, but now he's in jail so, at least I feel more safe now. I look at my wrists and sigh. I can't stop thinking about cut myself, maybe just one or two cuts won't affect me. I grab my blade and cut. It feels so good. I start crying even more and out Demi's songs, her songs always help me. She will not be proud of me and she doesn't love me, who will love a stupid girl that cut and is fat and ugly? No one. That's one of the reason why I don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend.

I lay down in my bed and just listen Demi's song, I need her embrace, I want to hug her. I smile a little and look at my poster. She's so gorgeous and I bet she looks even more gorgeous in person, I made her a letter, I'll give it to her in the M&G. I just hope she read this letter. My phone rings and I had a message.

E: How are you feeling?

B: I'm better, I think.

E: Hailey was so worried when you left and her mom too. I was too.

B: I'm sorry, I just wanted to be alone. Tomorrow I'll pack all her things and see what I want to keep and what I want to donate.

E: Need help? I can go tomorrow after school.

Maybe she want to make sure that I didn't cut myself.

B: Yeah ok, thank you.

E: You know I'll always be here for you, no matter what.

B: I know and that's so sweet.

E: Ok, you need to rest so, go to sleep and I'll see you tomorrow.

B: Ok, night!

E: Night.

(Next day)

I was waiting for Ms.Estela, I didn't wanted to eat breakfast so I just sleep until my body was tired of being in bed. I took a quick bath and put on a Paramore t-shirt and some jeans. I heard the door and sigh. Is not that I don't want Ms.Estela here, it's just...I don't want someone to feel sorry for me.

"Hey babygirl." She hugged me. "Hey..." I whispered and sigh. "Cry if you want." I start crying in her arms and sigh. "I'm so sorry." I shook my head.

We were packing some things that I didn't wanted to keep so we will donate them, I was looking in her closet and I notice an album of pictures, I grab the album and opened it. I smile looking all the draws that I made to her when I was a little girl. I smile, my first real smile after all of this. Ms.Estela looked at me and I showed her the album, she laughed a little. "You were a really good drawer." "You're mean." She laughed again. I laughed a little and put the album on the box that says 'keep'