self-esteem is an enemy

464 26 6
                                    

*You open the doors only to met with a chilling ice cold breeze in your face. You walk towards the cold determined to get them out of the underground.*

You walked through the doors and tried to close them behind you. “Y/n, we need to get going fast before Papyrus finds you.” Flowey says in your ear. You can hear some monsters staring at you and panicking. You aren't going to hurt anyone you just wanna get everyone free. You started walking forward hugging yourself for warmth.

 You continue walking forward and a monster comes out and tries to attack you with white balls of something… “Y/N WATCH OUT!” Flowey screams in your ear as you hear someone from behind run up to you. You quickly sprint forward and take a sharp turn left into the woods dodging trees left and right running for your life.

 Flowey is screaming in your ear and swearing up and down. You make it to an area that looks like there's a puzzle. It has a bunch of random colors. Flowey then is triggered by the massive amount of color switching and flashing.“ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME WHO THE HELL SET UP THIS SH-” you hear footsteps and quickly hide behind another tree.

  You hear crying and screams. “HEEELP!” It sounded like frisk. “Y/n Don't you even dare.” Flowey knowing what your thinking. You peeked your head out to see ...Mel? and frisk running from him…. Oh shit.

  “JESUS CHRIST KID I CAN’T HURT YOU CALM THE FUCK DOWN!” Mel was yelling at the kid. Frisk was crying scared of Mel. You were about to step out until you heard a snap behind you. You quickly turned around only to be pinned to the tree. You quickly closed your eyes and embraced for impact

  “WHAT THE HELL Y/N?!” You opened your eyes out of shock that it was Ganz. He was breathing heavily his body almost touching yours. You couldn't say anything really. You didn't know what you were doing. You just wanted them to be happy.

  “Ok trash bag give her some space your breathing on me EWW!” Flowey spits at Ganz. “Huh, like your to talk your literally on her arm.” Ganz flicks flowey where his nose would be. “YOU ASSHOLE I’LL FU-”  You cover Flowey's mouth. “Sorry but right now is not the best time to argue.” You say while Ganz is still staring at you.

  You hear frisk cry even louder. “LEAVE ME ALOOOONE AAAAAHHH!” Mel is raging. “WHAT THE HELL I’M LITERALLY JUST LIKE GANZ EXCEPT COOLER!!” Mel screams. Ganz steps to the side. “SHUT UP MEL YOU'RE NOT COOL AND QUIT BOTHERING FRISK!!!” You were going to laugh but now's not the time.

  Ganz still had you pinned to the tree.While Ganz was yelling at Mel flowey started to wrap one of his vines around Ganz but then started to make it turn into thorns.You didn't want Ganz to get hurt. “FLOWEY NO!!” you yelled and Ganz then quickly took his hand off your shoulder and slapped Flowey's vine off. “Y/N WHAT THE HELL I WAS GONNA GET US A WAY O-” Ganz's eye was burning flames blue.

  Ganz then used some type of magic on Flowey so he would get off your shoulder without touching him. His eyes went back to normal and Ganz pinned you back on the tree again. “WHAT THE HELL TRASH BAG?!” Flowey screeched at Ganz. “SHUT IT WEED” Ganz hissed at the pissed off flower.

 Your chest started to feel heavy. You felt sad. But angry at the same time. But not angry towards anyone else. At your self. But you felt bad for just running at the opportunity. You didn't at least say goodbye. You felt guilty. It hurt. So bad. You were trying not to cry.

  “WHAT DID YOU CALL ME YOU SON OF A BI-” You said quietly. “Please...stop...it hurts…” Ganz quickly let go. “Sorry I don't know what got over me.” Flowey starts bitching up a storm. “SEE WHAT YOU DID YOU FREAKI-” They didn't understand what you meant by it hurts. “No I'm sorry. I didn't say what I meant. I… I'm sorry..I should just g-” “QUIT IT! DAMN IT Y/N!” Ganz started to shut down.

  Ganz starts to cry a bit. “...Your not the only one hurting…” You understood what he meant. He's been through some crazy shit to but…. You heard Frisk scream. You didn't care at this point. You just sunk down from standing and just sit down. You hugged your knees and hid your face.

   One of the main things you did was cry. You didn't want to be alone and now you want to be alone. You just wanted out of this hell. You didn't want to be able to feel so you don't need to worry about pleasing others because you won't care. You wouldn't even know what it's like after so long.

  All people did was gain your trust and then hurt you. What makes it more different down here? You still the same person. Nothing is going to change. Nobody will love you. But at the same time your not the only one who thinks that. Your not crying alone this time. You always cried alone until you met Ganz.

  “Hey. I'm sorry.”

 “Y/n are you still there?”

  “Y/n what's going on in your head?”

   “You can tell me.”

    “H-hey! It's not funny.”

    “Y-y/n, sweetie you there?”

  You were stuck. You couldn't get out of your mind trap. Self esteem. Maybe your number one enemy. But definitely not your strong point. Emotions. You rather live without them.

   “WAKE UP!” Ganz yelled at you. He was shaking you with his arms. Flowey looked terrified of you. The  stripes under Ganz's eyes were glowing blue. “Y/n are you okay I'm sorry I didn't mean to bring anything up.” He goes to hug you.

  “You want to hug her after what you did. Wow that's just ha-” You got sick of his criticism he sounded like your mom. You got a little rock and threw it at his head. “HEY WHAT THE F-” “shut up mom, I don't need your criticism.” You said hoping he would stop. “Y/n are you okay?” Ganz questions.

   

                            “No.”  

Ganz x Reader ||COMPLETED|| {Book 1} [I Thought She Would Leave...]Where stories live. Discover now