One Shot Requests. [CLOSED]

I Would Tell Myself [AustinCarlile - TigerChick_]

Author's Note:

So, I wanted to stop writing at one point but I couldn't stop. I don't remember the merch girl's name who sells for Aspire and Create. Hopefully you like this. I kinda stuck more to the hopeless romantic personality. I did throw in that you're usually more outgoing and such. I don't know. I just got the idea. Hopefully you like it. If you don't, message me and we'll work something out.

“Never let the fear of failing keep you from succeeding.”

All throughout high school, I would repeat that saying, tell myself that by doing so, I would never back down from the challenges that life threw at me.

It wasn’t something that I was verbal about; I never told anyone that I would tell myself that. In all honesty, I'm not positive if that was an actual saying or something that I made up in the spur of a moment.

There was something telling me that the saying wasn’t meant for this job, that I should have just said no in the beginning, and I wouldn’t have to revert back to the saying so frequently.

Without thinking about the hardships, I said yes, getting lost in the beautiful color of his eyes.

Stupid, it was, but they claimed that I would enjoy myself, that I wouldn’t regret a thing.

Only, I do, I regret so much. I regret filling in for Mike. I regret falling for him. I regret telling Tino, because as soon as I did, everything became more real.

The list could continue on, if I had the time to write it. Though, I was tearing myself apart enough, I didn’t need a list to be a constant reminder as to how stupid and naïve I am.

Sitting at the booth, on the plastic chair, with my elbows on the table, my head in my palms, I bit my bottom lip to help stop the tears.

Finally, at this point in time, I’ve had enough. It was time for me to stop letting them walk all over me, and to get out before it becomes even more painful.

I wasn’t sure what the breaking point was, really. Everything seemed to come crashing down at the same time, it was like standing under a waterfall.

Sure, for a while, it feels like a massage, it looks beautiful, but after a while, in reality, it’s an ugly force of nature that is so powerful that it’s painful.

It wasn’t what I wanted. I shouldn’t be doing this to myself. He shouldn’t be able to have this control over me; I'm nothing but another friend, another girl, to him.

Pathetic, it’s exactly how I felt. Failing was impossible in this job; there was nothing to fail at. And if I wanted to succeed, the only thing I had to do was put on a fake smile and hand people merchandise.

In a way, it was what I needed, a job so simple that it would take all the stress away. But it wasn’t the job that I was afraid of failing at.

It was staying sane that I was afraid of failing at.