One Shot Requests. [CLOSED]

[AustinCarlile] Give Me Confidence - taymato

“What caused it this time?” He asks, extending his arm out to me, handing me a water bottle. Taking it from him, my hands still shaking slightly, I force a smile, shrugging my shoulders in response, not really knowing, I've done this before and it’s never happened here, not at a time like this, it’s surprising to me, too, and that only made it worse. “That was a pretty bad one.”

The two of us have been friends for a while, I met him back when I interviewed him a little over a year ago. He’s never been around when it’s happened, because when I first met him I was fine, just like I am with every single interview, but this one, I don’t know, I just freaked out and the anxiety took over and I couldn’t control it.

Okay, I know why I'm anxious for this interview, and it’s because it’s him, if it was anyone else I wouldn’t really care, but I haven’t seen him in a while and, well, distance makes the heart grow fonder. To be honest, I didn’t think that the two of us would even talk after it, I don’t keep in touch with anyone really, but he asked for my number and we haven’t stopped talking since.

When I think about it, the anxiety attack happened because I was anxious about seeing him, about hanging out with him. I'm too plain for him, I know that, with my dark brown eyes and my black hair, I look too normal to ever catch his attention, but here I am, someone he considers a friend. Then again, capturing his attention in the friend department is completely different than being someone he thinks he could date.

“Thank you.” Unscrewing the cap off of the water bottle, I wrap my fingers around it, pressing it against the palm of my hand as I bring the bottle up to my lips with my other hand, my fingers wrapped around it, gripping it tightly as if it’s going to fall out of my grasp. “And I don’t know. I didn’t think that I was anxious.” That’s a lie, I knew I was anxious, I just didn’t think that it would spiral out of control when I suddenly forgot all of my breathing techniques.

This is different than what he’s used to, I don’t think that he knew that I still got the attacks, I think that all he knew was that I had serious anxiety and that’s it. It’s unlike me, I'm never like this around him, shy and serious, I mean, I'm serious when I talk to him when the conversation calls for it, but I'm not my usual goofy, eccentric self and I think that it’s scaring the both of us.

Sitting down on the couch beside me, biting down on his lower lip, he tilts his head to the side, trying to figure out what to say. I don’t understand that, though, how he doesn’t have anything to say when he has all the words to say when he’s with his fans, I don’t really know how this is any different, except I'm a friend and not a fan.

“Hey, Taylor,” he whispers, swallowing hard, I can see the movement in his throat, but I don’t know why, it means that he’s nervous, and I don’t want him to be nervous, it will make me nervous, and then it will just be yet another downward spiral. Nodding my head, silently encouraging him to go on, I knit my eyebrows together. “Have you ever fallen for someone you think you shouldn’t have?”

Oh, he likes someone, of course he does, he can have anyone in the world, she’s probably beautiful, looks like a princess, she probably has no anxiety problems and is the most confident girl in the world. I'm just a friend, it’s all I’ll ever be to him, I get that, it makes sense, the story seems to cliché and fantasy-like to be anything more.

Running my fingers through my hair, I sigh softly, not sure how to answer this, because he’s curious, he’s going to ask questions until he gets all the information he wants out of a person, and at the same time I don’t want to lie to him. “Yeah, I have. Why? What’s bothering you?”

He needs someone to be there for him, just like he’s there for all of his fans. Austin deserves someone like that, who will be there for him and listen to him vent and give him advice and just be there for him when he doesn’t want to be alone. “What happens when you fall for a friend who you know deserves someone better than you?” His voice, it’s so sad, there is so much stress laced in his words, like he constantly thinks about it and nothing else.

“What are you talking about, Austin? There’s nothing wrong with you. If anything, you would have to worry about the girl not deserving you. You’re a hero, Austin, to so many people. How can you say that’s not good enough for someone? Austin, any girl would be lucky to have you. Stop knocking yourself down. There’s no reason for it.”

Smiling, he shrugs her shoulder, suddenly leaning forward, pressing his lips against mine as he places his hand on my cheek, pulling me closer to him before pulling away slowly. “Do you really think that I'm worth it?”

Laughing, I feel my cheeks warm with a blush, and I nod my head. “Yeah, after that, most definitely.” I joke, biting down on my lower lip, pressing my lips against his in a quick kiss, feeling a goofy smile tugging at the ends of my lips. “Thanks for making me feel better.”

“Thanks for giving me confidence.”