Love Me (ManxMan)

Chapter 17 <Esmeralda>

He sat me down when we got home. Carter was no where in sight along with Olivia. I guessed they were still out together. So I relaxed a bit on the subject that Magnus wanted oh-so-desperately wanted to know about. I had no problem, honestly, telling him what went on in my home. So when I actually opened my mouth to say something...

I was surprised. My voice caught in my throat and tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't speak as I stared into his eyes. "I...I...I can't." I stuttered over my wording. Tears slipping down my cheeks once again. Which was odd. I've never cried this much. I believe I've only cried twice in my life, crying wasn't what a beautiful son was supposed to do though. So maybe that's why.

Now that I was free from my parents, I could finally cry. I could cry all I want. I could scream at Magnus all I want. I could just let go for once. I could wear sweats and t-shirts. I could go out shopping and make friends. And I could...I could go to school. Learn to read, write. To be normal.

"And that's okay," Magnus said softly, "It's okay that you can't." He whispered gently.

"Are you sure?" I asked as our foreheads connected.

"Yes. Starting tomorrow, love, you'll be meeting with Adam. But take your time," He said.

"But I want to tell you. I want to," I admitted moving my head away. His thumbs brushed my tears away.

"Then I'll wait, patiently." He stated gently. My head slowly nodded. We sat in bed for what seemed like hours. I could be over exaggerating, but I swear it was like every time my mouth opened—I just couldn't do it. So Magnus helped me get ready for bed and laid with me. I allowed him to hug me to his chest because I felt better.

Then my eyes closed.

"NO! He got out! He got out, you idiots!' I looked up from the hall watched a child dash desperately away. Two men chased after him and I froze mid-walk.

"Stop him you slut!"

My eyes blinked and without comprehension, my foot stuck out. It tripped the boy who fell with a loud UGH. My body winced and I stepped back, looking at the kid to sobbed quietly. He had no clothes on, couldn't be older than 12. He looked up at me with a betrayed and broken look that made my stomach churn with guilt and disgust for myself. An arm wrapped around my shoulders as I looked up at my mother. She ruffled my locks and hummed, slowly kissing my neck before helping the boy up. She shoved him into the men's arms and my father slid his hands between my legs.

They've always come out of nowhere and at the right time.

"We should reward him, Alec," Mother sang playfully. Her tongue slipping into my mouth.

"Uh Huh..." He whispered against my neck.

My eyes opened. I looked around the dark room slowly and tensed when I felt a familiar arm pull my close to a familiar body. Magnus was dead asleep.

"They sold and raped me." I whispered to him. He wasn't awake but I was able to say it. To admit it. I sat up and hesitated to shake him awake. He groaned and slowly opened his eyes. When he noticed me, he shot up and turned the lamp light on. I squinted my eyes at the sudden brightness and he did the same.

"Esme," He whispered in a raspy voice. "Are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?"

My head nodded by itself. "They sold and raped me." I said to him.

"What?" He was still dazed from sleep. I gulped.

"My parents. I've lived like that since I could remember. I think they started teaching me when I was 5 years old. I remember once that my mother and father were having sex. I walked in on them and they saw me. They didn't stop and kept going and then they invited me in. I went with them to bed because my mother said she'd cut my ears off if I didn't," I paused as Magnus suddenly had his full attention on me.

"Continue," He said softly.

"...My body started being sold to others when I, like, turned 10. My first customer was an old friend of my parents. Carlos Alvarez. Then after that, I guess he used me too much. They banned him from my body but that never stopped him from visiting me when they were out of town or during their meetings. But, then again, I think that was a whole lie. It seems they knew about Mr. Alvarez after all," I sighed. "Anyway, his gang used me a lot. A lot of them bought me but my parents always made sure they were clean. Or maybe they didn't. Gods probably don't have to worry about STD's. Right?"

Magnus slowly nodded. "Yeah. You should be fine, Love." His voice had a dangerous but caring edge to it.

I nodded and stared at him. "I'm a bad person. I've been such a bad person. I've caused so many people so much pain. If I hadn't been born, plenty of kids would've been happy and with their families. Instead they're all auctioned off to some idiots who ruin them. This whole time I thought of them as nothing to me. I wasn't anything like them and I was special. But really, those kids and I..., we were the same. I was just the one whom was in denial. Who believed my parents loved me correctly," I laughed bitterly and looked up at him. "I've been with so many men and women. I've went with groups or crowds of people so they could just use me like their personal sex doll. I'm no different from those kids, huh. My mother and father have injected countless drugs into my body. They've tested out new products on me. I once was injected with this strange green shit. I hallucinated and had this constantly need to be fucked. I was just fucked over and over. And when the dosage wore off, a new one was shot into my blood stream.

I've had to eat women out from between their legs. My mother rode me while my father fucked me. I'm disgusting and used. But, you still want me. That's only because of the soul mate bond isn't it?" Magnus stared at me blankly. I couldn't read his face which terrified me.

"It wasn't your fault, Esmeralda," The words flowed through the air and from his lips so easily. Like he had confidence in his statement. I stared at him quietly. Then, the corner of my lips pulled into a weak smile.

"...if it's any consolation, I've never experienced BDSM. I have been tied to a bed before but that's it, I have to admit," I whispered to lighten the mood. Magnus blinked and slowly kissed my forehead.

"I'm not like them. I'm not like any of them. Do you know why, Esmeralda?"

"...why?" I asked desperately.

"Because I love you. I will love you forever. I loved you the minute I saw you from across my club. You're beautiful and strong. And I know that I can't just fix you magically and make it all better, but I can still hold your hand through it," He whispered, pulling me close.

A weight was lifted from my shoulders and once again I cried. But this time, I think it was from joy.

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