Tear you apart (J-Dog fanfic)

20. Let Go

My P.O.V.

It was about the time to announce "Bad Moon" as usual, so Jorel picked up a mic and referred to the audience: "So, someone told me I've been too harsh with my responses on social media," as he started talking I realized he was talking about me. But why? "...and I agree. All I wanted to say is – don't take it too personally; it's just the way I am... the way I express myself. So, don't take it the wrong way because nothing is the way it seems..." as he spoke, the crowd was cheering. Wow, this was really deep. He can be very emotional sometimes. He then continued: "Anyway... This song is for you... all of you."

Three songs later, and the show was over. I still hadn't decided if I should meet up with Jorel after all. My mind was killing me.

I noticed I just got a text... from him! "Come backstage ASAP. Make sure no one sees u."

Ugh, he's kinda annoying. "What if I don't want to?" I texted him back.

"Then you'll regret it."

After a few minutes of hesitation, I finally gave up and made my way backstage. What the hell am I doing?

When I saw him in a small hallway, he was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He looked so serious which made me much more nervous.

"I knew you'd come." He smirked while looking right through me.

I was afraid of what was coming next.

"I dedicated a song to you, in case you didn't notice." Oh, wow. He's talking about his little speech from earlier.

"It's not even your song." I snapped. "Just tell me what you wanted."

"Well..." he spoke. "I don't know how to say this, so I'm just gonna say-" he sounded so cold.

He took a deep breath and then continued: "As you know, Vanessa is back into my life. I wanna give her another chance, but I can't if you're standing on my way." He was speaking sincerely and I was just standing there quietly with my eyes wide open. I couldn't move; I couldn't speak; I was just listening to him in disbelief.     

"So, whatever may or may not have happened between us – it's over. For good. And I think it'd be the best for the both of us to just avoid each other, you know." He added and I felt like I was choking on his words.

I turned around wanting to just walk away, but he stopped me.

"Say something," he tried to touch my hand, but I stepped out. "Please..." he gave me that same stupidly adorable look as always, only this time I felt my heart was breaking.

"I have nothing to say," I said quietly holding back my tears.

"Are you mad?" He almost looked as if he was concerned. But I couldn't believe anything he does or says anymore.

"No!" I screamed after managing to stay calm for this long. "Why would I be mad?" I yelled even more.

"Okay, calm down. I knew you wouldn't like this-"

"You don't even know what I like!" I interrupted him.

"You like this..." He pulled me closer and started kissing me with the same passion he always did; as if this time everything was as fine as before. I thought I was never gonna feel his lips on mine ever again. My mind was telling me to stop, but I just couldn't listen to my brain for a whole minute. I admit the kiss calmed me down a little bit. But still, I couldn't let myself slip like this. I quickly pulled away from him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I yelled, feeling my eyes filled with tears. "Did you forget why we're here?"

"I just wanted to keep you tranquil!" Now he yelled even louder than me.

"You can't just kiss me every damn time I'm not alright!" I yelled back. I didn't even care if somebody heard us. I totally forgot that guys are probably around. "I can't be just your distraction from Vanessa!"

"And I can't be just a replacement for your dead boyfriend!" he shouted, leaving me flabbergasted.

"What?" I started sobbing. I couldn't believe what he was saying. "How did you... How did you even-", tears started falling down my face, making me unable to finish my question.

"I- I didn't mean to..." He stuttered. "I found out what happened to you... from Danny. I- I wasn't thinking clearly now... I never should've said that..."

"That's enough!" I somehow managed to yell again throughout this shock. "This is the last time you ever spoke to me!" 

I turned around to leave, but then I threw a glance at him once again and stated further: "And don't even try to get any information about my past from anyone. That's not your concern!"

I finally left him behind. I'm not sure how's all of this gonna function since we'll be together on the bus trying not to face each other. But there was already too much on my mind, and for now, all I wanted was to spend some time alone, away from everyone.

Jorel's P.O.V.

Me and my stupid mouth! I went too fucking far! But if that's what it takes to keep her safe and away from me, then fine. I'd rather have her hate me than being in danger. Maybe this wasn't the best choice I made, but it's the quickies one I came up with. She just can't know the real reason why I let her go.