Tear you apart (J-Dog fanfic)

37. No Other Place

My P.O.V.

After we finally had exited the motel, Jorel convinced me to split up again for my safety. He sounded kinda paranoid, but after everything he admitted, I understood why he was so scared all the time. I just had to make sure he knew that his secrets were safe with me.

"You know I won't tell anyone what we talked about..." I said it confidently.

"Of course I know. That's how much I trust you." His face lighted up. "Damn, you're probably the only one I can trust."

"But I'm still worried about you, though." I continued. "I'm scared you won't be able to make it on your own and end this craziness. Just promise me, after I'm gone, you'll seek help from someone." The thought of something going wrong was scaring the crap out of me.

"I'll be fine, I promise. I've been in this for a long time." He tried to reassure me. "Your safety is much more important. So, please, go back to the bus now, and we'll meet at the venue later." He was so sweet with his words even though he was freaking out inside.

***

We then parted ways, and I went straight to the tour bus to pack some of my things and finally prepare for my flight.

I texted my bestie, letting her know we're gonna see each other soon. Her surgery was scheduled for tomorrow morning, so I'd come there just in time.

I finished my packing faster than I expected, so I wasn't sure what to do next. I thought about getting some rest, but what's the point? I slept just fine last night next to Jay; it felt like Heaven.

Remembering our cute moments made me feel sorrow all of the sudden. I could feel teardrops in my eyes, but I couldn't allow myself to cry. I was fully aware that was the last night we ever spent together and it was a perfect closure. There were still some things left unsaid for sure, but maybe it's for the best.

Honestly, I felt kinda lonely here, so I decided to join their rehearsal a little bit earlier. I just wanted to spend as much time as possible with him.

***

When I arrived right outside the venue, something caught my eye. I couldn't fucking believe it! Fucking liar! Was that the reason he didn't want to come here with me?

Why was he always playing with my feelings? Just a few hours earlier we were making out in the shower and now this! Was I right all along?

So many questions were running through my head, and I just couldn't take my eyes off Jorel and Vanessa hugging at the front door. They were both smiling and it felt like I just got stabbed right in my heart.

He told me they're just friends, but if that was the truth, why would he meet up with her behind my back? Gosh, I might be overreacting at the moment, but I've had enough of it. After all we've been through, he just kept lying and keeping secrets from me.

I came here because I couldn't wait to see him. I couldn't spend another minute without him, but it felt like he already replaced me.

"You slut!" I mumbled under my breath while walking in their direction. Ugh! That fucking fuckboy! I just wanted to scream at him!

But before I managed to come closer to them, Jorel had already came inside. Vanessa was still outside, so she noticed me shortly after. Fuck, I was hoping she didn't hear what I said.

"You're here for Jorel, right?" She sounded chill. God knows what she was thinking when she saw me so pissed.

"I am, actually," I responded with such confidence, but all I wanted was to yell - Back off, he's mine!

It was obvious I wasn't in a mood for chatting, so I tried to avoid her by walking towards the entrance, but for whatever reason she stopped me. Great!

"You know, he talks about you all the time," she continued, but I wasn't sure where she was going with it.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He loves you, crazy!" She gave me a smile, and after hearing those words from someone else, my heart started aching.

I took deep breaths one by one, and just turned around and opened the freaking door. Why the hell did she say that? I couldn't deal with her anymore; I just wanted to find Jorel.

She probably thought I was weird after I had ignored her comment, but I didn't care much about it.

When I came in, I saw Jorel not so far away. Luckily, no one else was there. The rest of the guys were probably backstage which was all the way down the hallway.

Before I said anything, he had turned around to face me, like he could sense my presence. That's how connected we were. He noticed my anger too and then his face expression went gloomy.

"I'm assuming you ran into Vanessa outside, so before you go all crazy, I'mma tell you that she just stopped by to say she can't make it to the show tonight." I could feel honesty in his voice; I wanted to trust him. "She was there for a couple of minutes, that's all." He added, coming closer to me.

"She told me something..." I said it silently, trying to control my fury.

"What is it? Seems like she really upset you..." Damnit, he seemed really worried, but I still acted kinda bitchy.

"What's more important is..." I kinda raised my voice. "Is there something you wanna tell me? Because if there is, now would be the right time to say it." I was hoping he realized what I meant by that.

We were staring at each other's eyes, the way we always do, and suddenly he wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me so close, that I could hear his heartbeat.

If he could only read my mind at the moment. Just kiss me; you fool. And tell me how you really feel... Why is it so hard for you?

I was too afraid to say anything and ruin the moment. He bit his lip and then put his hand on my rosy cheek. I could feel insane heat in my whole body. Damn, his actions were always so contagious.

"So?" I whispered. Damn, my impatience!

He opened his mouth to finally say something, but someone else's voice interrupted us.

"Hey, you two!" Johnny yelled from across the hallway. "Man, we need you. Whatever you guys were doing can wait." He said, and Jorel just rolled his eyes while still holding me.

"Later..." He told me in soft tone before kissing my forehead. "We'll talk later." I nodded at his statement, and he just left with Johnny.