Chapter||40

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After our fight, the weeks passed by and Jace and I didn't really talk much. Well, that's not true. When I got up the morning after the fight and went into his room, he was totally hungover. He laid, half naked with his sheets covering part of his body, and a peaceful look on his face. I tastefully ignored the half empty bottle of whiskey he had on his floor and chose not to wonder where he got it.

"Look, Jace" I'd told him. "I've been thinking a lot about what you said, and I think we should break up."

"Lex, it's too early for this, let me sleep another hour." He had replied.

"No Jace, I'm serious. Traveling Europe with Lily and Sebastian has been my dream, our dream, since the eighth grade. They're my best friends, and you asked me to give that all up last night.

"When we first started this relationship, we just wanted to see where it took us. You've known since the beginning I was going to Europe this summer and-"

"Woah, Lexi. I just want you to consider staying here with me before we go to college." Jace interjected.

"But that's the thing Jace, me going to Europe, it's not up for debate. Lily, Seb, and I already bought our tickets, they're nonrefundable-"

"I'll pay you back for the ticket, just stay." Jace replied and tried to pull me into bed with him.

"No Jace, you're not listening. One, that would be a crap best friend move to pull on them, and two, even if they were ok with it I'd still say no. What part of this is my dream don't you understand?" I asked him. He stared at me blankly while I felt like my whole heart was on my sleeve as my eyes filled up with tears.

"What about us? Are we not one of your dreams?" He asked.

"Don't try to make it like that Jace." I replied, turning away from him. I faced the stupid gray wall of his room with some soccer poster up on it. "I'm going to Europe, and if you can't accept that..."

"I don't think I can accept that. I just wanted to have summer with you, my love, before we went off to college. I love you, Lex. I don't want to give up on us, but when you go to Europe... You'll meet guys, and it'll all be over."

"What, so you're jealous? You think I'm not worried you'll meet other girls in college? Jace, I love you too, and I'm not gonna elope with some European dude. Don't you trust me?" I asked him, pleaded with him. He never met my eyes.

"Huh, well I guess that settles that." I replied, swallowing hard and repressing the tears threatening to fall. "I'm going to Europe, Jace. And no, I'm not going to hook up with any European boys, but I'm also not going to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't trust me." I looked at him for a couple seconds longer, hoping to elicit some sort of reaction from him. Anything other than the blank stare he was giving the ground. After a minute of him saying nothing, I walked out of his room, "Goodbye, Jace Johnson."

I didn't hear him whisper, "I want to trust you won't leave me, but people I love always do."

❋❋❋❋❋

"Alexis Margaret West" the dean read out as I stepped up to the platform to receive my diploma.

I shook the principals hand and grabbed the paper with my free hand.

Continuing down the platform all the way back to my seat I couldn't stop smiling... I'm free.

I tried not to notice Jace's eyes on me as I walked down the stairs and to my seat, just like I tried not to notice his eyes on me in the halls, lunchroom, classes, and when I would make dinner for the Johnson's, and take them to sports. Ignored him like how I would turn and walk the other way the first two weeks after our break when he would try to talk to me.

I wanted to talk to him so bad, but I wanted him to fight for us.

Three weeks had passed since our break up, and this last week? It seemed he'd given up already.

Lost in thought, I didn't even notice when Tyler had sat back down in the seat next to me, and whispered, "You know he really misses you." In my ear right as our Principal called the name of the last one of our peers.

I didn't get a chance to respond as he exclaimed, "Congratulations Class of 2019!"

It was right as I was heading to the car, with Tyler and my parents, the promise to meet up with Sebastian and Lily at the joint grad party their parents were throwing did I get stopped.

"Hey Lex, can I talk to you for a moment?" He asked.

That voice.

"Meet you at the car ok, Lexi?" My mom asked. Tyler gave me an encouraging smile as he walked to the car with my parents.

I sucked in a breath and turned around to face Jace. "Sure." I replied tightly.

"I'm sorry." He said, "I am so sorry, I ruined what we had because I was selfish, and I was scared, and god, I am so sorry. I was just so scared of losing you, and I ended up pushing you away. You mean the world to me, and you're right. I don't want to hold you back from your dreams, I don't ever wanna hold you back because you're so smart and you're gonna go so far."

"Jace," I whispered.

"Please, let me finish. These past three weeks without you? They've sucked. I know I can live without you, but I really just don't want to. You make my life so much better, you make me so much better. If you don't want to be with me right now, or during college, that's fine. Just know that you're it for me, and I'm going to do everything I can to win you back. I'm never giving up on us because we have something that is truly worth fighting for. I love you, and I always will."

I couldn't hold it back any longer so I launched myself into his arms. "I've missed you so much."

I felt a few tears slip down my cheeks as I pressed myself against him. "I didn't wanna break up, I just wanted to get through to you."

"And I get it now, go to Europe Lex. And have so much fun, but don't forget to send me a post card every now and then." Jace replied as he squeezed me just as tightly as I was squeezing him.

❋❋❋❋❋

Jace ended up driving us to Sebastian and Lily's party, and once we got there, Lily ran up to us.

"Oh thank god, I was about to have to shove you two in a room and lock it until you made up." She threw her arm around my neck, and dragged me away. "Have to borrow my bestie for a sec!"

She pulled me into a corner of the backyard and started excitedly talking my ear off about Europe, but what caught my eye was Ty pulling Jace and Sebastian to the side and telling them something. Their conversation looked pretty serious until Jace's eyes widened and he pulled Tyler in for a hug.

When Lily and I walked back to our group of friends, Jace wrapped his arm around me. "What were you, Seb, and Ty talking about?" I asked him.

"Don't worry about it babe." He said as he kissed me on the forehead.

What do you think they were talking bout?

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