SLOW BURN

5. fuming

I look at the fire station across the street from my car, wishing I didn't have to do this.

It's Monday evening and I came over to the fire station to return the ring to Brad which Savannah made me swear I would do. As if I would want to keep it. What I knew was gonna happen, happened. Savannah dislikes Brad now. I don't want to say hate because that's such a a strong word, though that's the word she used last night.

"That asshole. I hate him," she said after I had told her what happened.

"No you don't." I told her.

"Yes, I do. And you should too. Why are you not fuming with anger right now?"

"I don't know, Sav. I'm more disappointed than angry, to be honest."

It's true. The disappointment hurts more than anything. Though Savannah doesn't know that I don't blame Brad as harsh as I should because of the fact that I did kiss his brother back in high school. I've never told that to anyone. Not even Savannah. I've always felt like speaking about it with someone will make it real and would therefore make me feel even worse. I don't think I'll ever not feel guilty about it.

I take a deep breath then finally get out of the car. I pull my jacket closer to me as I cross my arms on my chest and cross the street. It's a chilly night. The fire station seems pretty quiet. There are two long fire trucks parked outside, ready to go. There are also a few white ambulance trucks. I've come here numerous times before. Sometimes during lunch to have lunch with Brad or to spend some time with him whenever I missed him. Firefighters have long shifts. They work for ten to twelve hours for four days or twenty-four hour shifts which is what Brad usually does.

I've always admired the Andrews for what they do, especially Brad's dad, Clint, who's been doing this for over twenty years. Not everyone is willing to risk their lives for others. I've always had a sense of pride in telling people that my boyfriend is a firefighter. Of course, that's over now but I'll always admire Brad and Josh and all the other firefighters or people that hold sacrificing jobs like that.

I cross the street and make my way into the building through the main entrance. Oliver is on desk duty today and he smiles when he sees me. "Oh, hey, Natalie. How are you?"

"Hey, I'm good thank you. Is Brad around?"

"Uh-" he looks to the side.

"Natalie."

I turn to look at Josh who is making his way towards me. He looks down the hall at the rooms then at me. He looks nervous. I know something is up instantly.
"Hey, Josh. I need to speak with Brad. Is he here?"

Josh scratches the back of his head. "Yeah. He's sleeping, I think."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Why do you look guilty saying that?"

He lets out a breath. "Natalie-"

My heart drops to my stomach in realization. "He's with someone right now, isn't he?"

He looks at me then nods once.

"Okay," I say slowly. "What room is he in?"

Josh shakes his head. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why are you covering for him? It's over between us anyway."

Josh glances at Oliver who is pretending he's not listening then he grabs my hand and pulls me to the side, further from him. He looks at me then he says in a low voice, "I'm not covering for him. I just don't think it's something you want to see."

"Maybe it's something I need to see."

"What for?"

I shake my head in disbelief. "I just-I can't believe him. We were together for over eight years. Eight. And he just moves on this fast?" I can't hide the hurt in my voice and I know Josh notices it.