SLOW BURN

28. you wouldn't do that

I try to stand up as quickly as humanly possible and reach for the bag and box but Josh is already leaning down to pick it up. I watch in panic as he glances at it. His eyes widen in surprise as he looks up at me and I shake my head once. His eyes look around the room and then he puts the box inside the bag quickly while he glares at Brad. "Brad, what the fuck?"

"I'm sorry, Nat," Brad is saying behind me.

I ignore him and grab the bag from Josh's hands. "Thank you." I murmur as I walk past him.

I really hope Cassie nor Crystal saw anything. Josh was quick to hide the box. I think it just felt like it happened in slow motion because I was panicking.

I'm still panicking. God. Please let this be a negative.

I go straight into the bathroom. It takes me a moment to pee but I use the three tests then wash my hands and pace around my room.

There's a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I ask nervously.

"It's me, Crystal."

I frown but reach out to open the door. I haven't seen her since Clint's birthday party so it's been a while but I remember what she did for me that day and my expression softens. "Hey, whats up?"

"Just wanted to see if you were okay," she says slowly. "You seemed a bit out of it back there."

I take a deep breath. "Come in."

"Also Josh sent me," She says quietly as she walks in.

I lock the door behind her and, despite everything that's going on, I smile. "I'm fine." I bite my lip as we look at each other for a moment. "Can I trust you?" I finally ask.

"Only you can answer that," she says with a small smile.

"Right." I sit on the edge of my bed. "I think I might be pregnant." I whisper looking at her nervously.

"Ah," she says with a nod. "Josh, I'm guessing?"

I nod. "I'm probably overreacting. I had a stupid dream during my nap." I shake my head. "I'm never napping again."

She smiles. "Just relax, okay? I'm guessing you took a test?"

"Three," I say. "From the dollar store."

"Okay. Do you want to go check them?"

"Not really," I say nervously.

"Do you want me to check them?"

I nod eagerly. "Yes, please. They're on the sink."

She nods. "Okay. I'll go take a look."

I look down at the floor, moving my leg nervously as Crystal goes in the bathroom. It's probably only a few seconds that pass before she comes out but they feel like hours. I can't stop my mind from thinking about everything that can happen if I am pregnant. I know I wouldn't get an abortion. I'm all for women having the choice to choose and respect that but personally, I could never do that. That's just me.

So I would keep the baby. Would Josh even want a baby with me? We would have no other choice than to tell everyone about our relationship. Everything would turn into chaos. Don't get me wrong, I do want to have kids someday but not like this. Not with an unofficial boyfriend. I can't bring myself to take accountability for my actions how am I supposed to become responsible for a whole new life?

I know I probably got myself into this. Though I have been taking care of myself. I know for a fact that I haven't missed a single pill. I take it everyday and always at the same time. This gives me a little hope. It's practically impossible for me to be pregnant. It would be a miracle if I was. I don't want any miracles.