Unlovable

Chapter Fifty-Four

Kagami had very mixed emotions about bumping into Ritsu Kasanoda. It had definitely been fun watching him act like a cornered animal with nowhere to run. And then seeing his face when she had dragged him into the greenhouse and started drawing him. Oh, he had looked so confused, so lost. Kagami had been tempted to draw that instead of his ridiculous "look". He was easy to tease. His reactions were funny and he blushed so easily that it made Kagami want to laugh. And tease him more. He needed to get used to being poked fun at, because there was going to be a lot more of that in his future.

He was also a surprisingly earnest person. Yes, he could be somewhat gruff, but most of that was probably due to the fact that he didn't really know how to interact with other people. After listening to his story, Kagami had actually felt pretty sympathetic for Ritsu. They were pretty similar, although Kagami had become the way she was on purpose instead of because of her appearance, like Ritsu, but that didn't mean she didn't know how he felt. Maybe that was why it was so easy for her to talk to him, why it felt like they had been friends for years instead of only knowing each other for an afternoon. He just had an aura that made her feel relaxed, comfortable.

And, he was also joining the gardening club. Every time she remembered that she was getting an actual club member, Kagami felt a rush of excitement flow through her. She wanted to laugh, to jump up and down, to do something to express how happy she was, but the most she allowed was a small smile to tug at the corner of her lips. She had a feeling that Ritsu was going to become an invaluable member to her club.

However, the smile on Kagami's face managed to slip when she remembered that meeting Ritsu most likely meant she would once again become entangled with the host club. She had no actual evidence to support that theory, but since Ritsu had asked the host club for help, there was no way for him to avoid Tamaki's enthusiasm. Kagami had warned the redhead not to go along with any of the blond's absurd plans before he had left the greenhouse, but she knew that once Tamaki set his eyes on someone, there was no way to escape him. And she had a feeling that with Ritsu getting caught up with the host club, she would somehow manage to get dragged along as well. If that was the case, she would just have to make sure to do everything in her power to help her poor, hapless new club member to escape with as little damage as possible.

And then there was the other, far more serious problem Ritsu had brought up, all while completely clueless that he was saying anything problematic. What he had said about Mori, Kagami had been so stunned by it that she had actually dropped her pencil. Usually she was much better at concealing her emotions, but hearing someone say that Mori was mean-looking, expressionless and distant had shocked her a bit too much. Mori must have been in an even worse state than she was when Ritsu said that to him. Even though she knew Ritsu absolutely hadn't meant any harm, she had still been overcome with the urge to hit him for a moment when he told her what he said to Mori. 

Knowing Mori, he had definitely been hurt by those words, and for some reason, Kagami was really bothered by that thought. She didn't want him to be unhappy. Well, whatever the reason behind it, she had plenty of time to figure it out later. Right now she needed to take action. Mori was the one who had been there for her during the lowest point of her life and even if it was only in a small way, she had an opportunity to pay him back. She wasn't going to waste it by spending her time overthinking things.

Sighing, Kagami walked out of the greenhouse and locked the doors. There was no way she was going to get any studying done today. Her father was most likely going to call her into her office to lecture her for it later, but she would find an adequate excuse to appease him. Hopefully. Even if she couldn't it didn't matter. She had work to do.

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Mori's POV:

Mori sighed as he stared down at his lunch. He had tried to cheer up, to put what Kasanoda had said out of his mind, but the redhead's words kept echoing in his head. Was he really mean-looking? Expressionless? Distant? Was that why so many girls screamed and ran away when they saw him? Or why they stuttered and couldn't meet his eyes when they talked to him? Because they were afraid of him? It would make sense. He had never given it any serious thought before, had just assumed it was because they were girls and he would never be able to understand the way they acted, but apparently it was all because of fear. Knowing that made his heart hurt.

Did that mean that Kagami was afraid of him as well? Mori tensed up. If Kagami was scared of him, he didn't know what he would do. Wracking his brain, Mori looked back on all of their past interactions, trying to think if he had ever seen her acting afraid of him. He had seen her angry, embarrassed, happy, shy, upset, and there had been the one time she had been afraid, at the beach, but that hadn't been because of him. So Mori thought it was unlikely that she was scared of him. That was good. Mori felt his shoulders sag with relief.

But that didn't mean that she didn't find him distant and expressionless and everything else that Kasanoda had claimed. If that was so, what was he supposed to do to change it? He couldn't change the way he looked, not unless he got plastic surgery, and that wasn't something he was keen on doing, and expressing himself had always been something he found difficult. Mitsukuni was one of the few people who had really been able to understand all of the minute changes in his facial expressions. But if he didn't change, would there be any chance for him to get closer to Kagami? To get her to notice his feelings? It didn't seem likely.

Feeling his shoulders slump in defeat, Mori continued to stare despondently down at his lunch. If Mitsukuni was there, he knew his cousin would have tried to cheer him up, but he had wanted to be alone with his thoughts, which was why he had asked to eat alone. This was the only time he had ever done something so selfish, and he knew Mitsukuni understood why he wanted to be alone, which was why his cousin had only sent him off with a smile and a wave. It was a good thing Mitsukuni hadn't truly been offended by what Kasanoda had said yesterday. Mori definitely needed his support.

"You look like you want to kill your lunch." Jolting out of his thoughts, Mori looked up to find Kagami sliding into the seat at the desk in front of his, her body framed so that she was facing him. He had stayed behind in the classroom to eat lunch, since he figured no one would bother him here. Although Kagami was definitely, definitely not a bother.

"Does it really taste that bad?" Kagami continued, a look that was half amusement, half questioning on her face.

Mori was so surprised by her sudden appearance that it took him far longer than it should have to form a response to her question. "I'm just not hungry." He finally managed to say.

"Really?" She stared at him, blue eyes boring into his, and Mori wanted to cave, to tell her that he was worried about Kasanoda had said yesterday, about what she thought about him, about how he could change so she would like him more. But how could he possibly tell her that? She would know then, or at least have a very good idea, that he liked her, and he didn't want that. Not yet. So Mori bit back the words that so badly wanted to force their way out of his throat and tore his eyes away from hers, choosing instead to once again stare down at his lunch.

He heard her sigh, and his heart constricted. She was disappointed in him. Of course she was. After all, he was a mean-looking, expressionless person. Who wouldn't be disappointed in him.

"I should have punched him." He heard her mumble. She sounded mad, not disappointed. Mori wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. And what did she mean about punching someone? Unable to stop himself, Mori lifted his head and shot Kagami an inquiring look.

Catching his gaze, Kagami shook her head. "Sorry." She said. "It's nothing. Anyway, I didn't come here to talk about you and your lack of appetite. I came to give you something."

She wanted to give him something? Mori raised his eyebrows in curiosity.

Kagami pulled something out of the schoolbag that was hanging from her shoulder and slid it across the table to Mori. "He's wrong about you. You're one of the kindest people I know, I like your expressions, especially your smile, and you talk the perfect amount. And your looks are definitely above average. So cheer up, okay?"

And then she was gone.

Mori stared down at the white envelope she had given him, not entirely sure why she had given it to him. After all, the words she had just spoken already had him grinning like a fool. But then Mori opened the envelope's flap, she hadn't sealed it shut, and his grin practically split his face. Inside the envelope was a small, blue flower.

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Hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed the last three chapters. I figured that since it's been so long since the last time I released a chapter, I would give you three for the price of one. I know this last chapter was pretty short, but I don't think it fits in with any of the other chapters, and I really like it, so it's just going to be a baby chapter. Anyways, thanks again to everyone who has stuck with my story for this long. You guys are amazing! Love you all!