Being Bad

Chapter 37: My Answer Is Yes

Lia James

I've never wanted anything more than staying in my bed these past couple of days. After the whole debacle with Andrew and Mason, I found myself admiring my bed that weekend.

Saturday, I didn't even have the heart to get out of bed. I succumbed to sleep, and made sure my door was locked so Aunt Alex didn't decide to barge in so I could tell her what the hell was going on.

I didn't eat at all that day, even though I felt sick from lack of food. I had a water bottle that I kept on top of my night stand purely for the feeling of thirst at late hours of the day. I lived off of that for about two days.

Sunday was a bit different. I got out of bed, took a shower, and put on some comfy clothes before crashing on my bed and going on my computer. I shopped online for some bathing suits for the summer in Maine, which was so far from now, and I got my homework done.

It wasn't long until I had to go to softball practice for my first game I had on Monday, after school. I had left a few hours early, so I could go to a fast food restaurant nearby and eat in my car, and then drive off to practice.

I couldn't even focus. It was pure torture listening to your coach tell you that there was a possibility of you being benched first game because due to lack of enthusiasm and care for the game. It was heart-wrenching.

I'm sure he didn't care with all that's been going on in my life, and I didn't need to tell him that. It was none of his business, but it was my business to get my head up and clean up my act. So, that's what I did.

Then came Monday, which was hell for me. I had no one to talk to in the hallways. Eli, Nick, and Julian all accompanied me when they felt I needed a friend, which I so desperately did. Mason wouldn't even make eye contact with me during Math, and even sat on the far end of the room so that we would have some distance. I bit my lip with anger at his pettiness.

I had my first softball game, which I didn't get benched because I managed to realize that not everything is about me. My team needed me, and I didn't want to let them down. I scored a triple and two doubles that game which was more than anyone had scored. We won that game 14-6.

I'm excited for where this year is going to head, when talking about my softball career. If we win all the games this season, which I have hope we do, it's a definite that the state championships are coming our way. But if we lose two or more, we can kiss it goodbye. That's not happening, not when I'm so close to graduation.

If we win the majority of our games, we will be seeing some scouts reappearing in the near future. I'm waiting for Boston College to recognize me and and offer me a scholarship. That would be amazing.

I would be in New England, close to my relatives who live just outside out Boston, and my Dad who lives in Maine a couple hours away. It's the perfect plan.

I applied to Boston College before I came to California, and it was nerve wracking. Boston College didn't offer a women's softball team, so I was stuck with being on a boys team. If they will even let me. The online process was tedious and long, it took us nearly the whole day. But this was the school I was so desperate to get to.

I had also applied to various colleges across the nation, one of them being UCLA because it was close to the Butler's house. So, if I couldn't get into any New England colleges that I liked, I would stay in California for college. But after the whole fiasco that happened, I'm not sure staying would be the best idea.

With regards to Boston College having on a men's softball team, I've convinced myself on multiple occasions that I can do this. If I become the first girl to get on that team, that would be a dream. But I can't do a club sport that's made me who I am. That's defined me for so long, I need to get noticed and appreciated for my hard work. That's the only way I will be satisfied with my life.