Chapter 24

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-Y/N's POV-

And within a second everything stopped. Once again I heard him mutter the exact same words to himself. 

''This is not good'' he removed his hand away from my lower part only to have it pull my blouse together in order to cover me up. 

''It doesn't feel right.....doing these things'' he whispered softly while I stayed in the same position, my head leaning on his shoulder. Because of our chest being pressed up together I could feel his heart beating so fast and feeling that actually made me happy. Perhaps I made him just as nervous as he made me, but hearing him say that this doesn't feel right made me think otherwise. I stayed quiet not saying a thing feeling him gently hold my body.

''I'm sorry...Doing these things to you while you only want to repay your father's debt.'' Now hearing him say the reason made my heart weaken. He really thinks about that...

''We should end our deal here,'' he added while slowly rubbing my back. I didn't say anything and just nodded my head. It's for the best...Now that Taehyung knows that I'm doing this in order to pay my father's debt, of course, he would feel bad about it. And maybe it's better for me as well. I feel like I'm taking things to personal. I'm starting to think that his actions are because he cares for me, but that's likely not even the case.

''We should'' I muttered softly. Silence fell for a while but it was pleasing. It didn't feel awkward at all. Instead, I was comfortably seated on his lap, resting my head on his broad shoulder while his hands kept on caressing my body. Moments like these I want to last for a long time. 

''You know Y/N...I can help you...with the debt'' Taehyung spoke and hearing him say that I immediately knew what he meant. He is already doing enough for me having him pay such a high debt for me only makes me feel bad, but before I could even reply and protest he already added something to it. 

''Knowing you I know that you probably don't want it, but let's see it as a debt to me. I'd rather want you to have a debt to me rather than someone else who might actually hurt you if things go wrong.....Just see it like this. I will pay off the debt for you and then you can just focus on work and pay me back bit by bit. What do you think?'' he asked. 

It actually did sound pleasing. He is right in fact I have encountered the people my father owes money to several times in the past when I had trouble with paying. And let me just say they aren't nice people. They are loan sharks and when it comes to them not paying on time can lead to dangerous things. I sighed not taking too long to make a decision. I removed my head away from his neck looking properly at him this time. 

''I will pay you back for everything'' I spoke seeing him instantly smile. 

''The clothes, for letting me stay here. Everything'' I made clear seeing him nod. Looking into his eyes right now I started to feel sad. Perhaps it's just better if I start fresh....if I let go of this imaginary thought of mine of being with Taehyung like an actual couple. 

''You can focus on work and just stay here for how long you want and pay me back at your own pace'' he spoke but I shook my head changing his expression into a confused one. 

''I'm going to search for another job and try to find a cheap apartment elsewhere. And when I do I will monthly pay you back for everything you have done for me up till now'' I explained but hearing me say that I could see his eyes sadden. If he is gonna ask me to stay would I? 

''If that's what you want.....'' he spoke softly. My hand that held my blouse together clenched tightly as I faked a smile and nodded. 

''It's for the best'' I replied with a small smile. Taehyung doesn't even want to share his thoughts with me or things that stress him out, nothing like that. He doesn't want to rely on me. So I really do think that I don't mean that much to him at all. It's for the best.....growing apart and living our own lives again. And once I have paid off my debt completely to him.....he won't be a part of my life anymore. 

''I should....get off now'' I chuckled awkwardly slowly getting off his lap, just thinking about what we were doing seconds ago could make my face heat up. Turning my back at him to leave the room I could feel his tall presence behind me as he just stood up as well. 

''Y/N'' he spoke my name once again. For some reason having Taehyung speak my name could make me ten times more nervous then being called 'love'.

''Yeah?'' I questioned turning around slightly taking a back by his broad figure towering over me. His eyes seemed serious as he slightly bent down reaching my face closer.

''Why did you kiss me?'' He questioned and there went my ears again turning completely red. 

''I-I don't know I guess it was just the moment'' I muttered softly my eyes not even once meeting his as I just looked to the side. 

''Why do you wanna leave?'' He added to his other question and this time I did look at him. The seriousness in his eyes turned to sadness and it made me feel guilty. 

''Aw don't look so sad. You don't want me to leave?'' I joked my hand softly caressing his face. His hand swiftly reached for mine grabbing my wrist as he leaned closer.

''That's right.....Just stay.'' There went my heart again skipping a beat.

''How am I gonna pay you back for letting me stay here. If I keep staying here? That means there will be no end to it. It's better if I find an own pl-''

''I don't need money for it. You just need to stay here with me. Keep me company, eat breakfast with me, nag at me, fight with me, play with tannie. That's more than enough. For letting you stay here you really don't need to pay that back with money.'' I fell silent hearing what he said. He is making me confused. He just wants me to live with him, but why?

''And what if you find a girlfriend?'' I questioned seeing him arch his brows.

''What do you mean? I have you...'' he spoke honestly and seeing how serious he meant that tugged at my heart. I don't get Taehyung I really don't get him. Being frustrated and confused at this point I could feel my eyes become teary. 

''You don't make any sense'' I muttered trying to hold in my tears. Why is love always such a hard thing? 

''What do you me-''

''Taehyung. What am I to you?'' Hearing myself say something so blunt made me shocked myself. I guess it's for the best to get a straight answer rather than to confuse my own heart with my stupid assumptions. I felt the watery liquid slowly leaving my eyes as I looked at him trying to look steady on my feet.

''Why are you crying?'' He asked his voice so gentle while he reached for my waist pulling me a bit closer.

''Just answer....'' 

''I have made myself clear about that many times already'' he replied yet again a reply that made me confused. He never made himself clear about what I am to him. Am I just an employee to him? A woman to use for pleasure? A tool? Wouldn't surprise me he doesn't even call me by my own name. All he keeps calling me is 'love' 'love' 'lo......My eyes started to widen while he smiles his hands slowly wiping away some tears.

''Right....love'' he smiled before his finger softly booped my nose. 

-TBC-

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